The Toss of a Coin
Yes, singleness gives the power of being in charge of your life, but what about the sadness we often feel? How do you explain it?

Being in total control of your life is the positive side of single life, but the flip side is there, too—a sad, gnawing realization that you're on your own. Onlyness, I call it. But—you suspected this was coming—don't think being coupled gives you total immunity from those down moments! They are very much part of the human condition, single and married. So when the blues come a-calling, it's your duty to remind yourself that singleness isn't a curse any more than being coupled is a guarantee of 24-hour bliss. Every honest relationship has its problems and its rough patches. But a couple who are best friends will put their heads and hearts together and jointly work things out—because they want to. Keeping an upbeat, realistic attitude toward themselves, each other and what they have together gives a healthy relationship very good odds for long-term survival.

To most folks, micromanagement has to do with tasks or performance. The micromanaging parent, for example, is generally thought of as one who hovers over a child’s homework or academics in general. Indeed, that is the most common form, but parental micromanagement can also extend to organizing and directing a child’s social life and recreation.

Whatever the context, micromanagement is driven by anxiety. The micromanaging parent is anxious that the child might do something that reflects badly on the parent, which means that parental micromanagement is a variation on the theme of codependency. It is almost always the case that the attempt to micromanage a child engenders relationship problems of one sort or another, including rebellion.

CONGRATULATIONS, Pink Magazine 20 years and still going strong!

Below are several films released in 2004. Even 20 years later, these movies remain relevant, compelling, and entertaining. I suggest you revisit all of them, as they can be easily streamed, providing a wonderful night of movies guaranteed to be good.

Million Dollar Baby
Clint Eastwood, Hilary Swank, Morgan Freeman | Directed By: Clint Eastwood

Frankie, an ill-tempered old coach, reluctantly agrees to train aspiring boxer Maggie. Impressed with her determination and talent, he helps her become the best, and the two soon form a close bond.

“Both Elizabeth and Pink have been a part of the fabric
of Lowcountry life for many years and their
staying power is the tribute to that fact!”
– The Uphill Skater –

I have been with Pink one way or another for many years, in fact, almost since the beginning. I started writing a column called "One From The Heart,” and then wrote profiles, and finally "Skating Uphill." I must tell you that I have loved every minute of being a part of the brand Pink has become. I am going to go back quite a bit for one of my favorite memories of Elizabeth Millen, the founder of Pink, and only really old-timers will remember this.

Love is not social work. Yes, I've said it before, but given more space, let's really dig into the concept. All of us have at some point met someone who shakes our universe but comes with a lot of baggage. To be kind, let's call them issues. We brush aside friends' warnings—and our own viscera—to help this deserving person who seems mired in problems but kisses the way we like it. If we can just get through the muck surrounding him/her, we tell ourselves, we'll be home free with a terrific partner. In fact, we may even have found our soul mate!

Q: My three-year-old is prone to ear infections. When he has one, his behavior deteriorates considerably. He becomes disobedient and given to angry outbursts. When his ears are clear, he’s generally delightful to be around. I’m reluctant to discipline him when his ears are hurting him, but I’d like your advice on this.

A: Obviously, your son doesn’t have a behavior problem per se; he has an ear infection problem that adversely affects his behavior. Given that when his ears are clear, he’s a delightful little fellow, I’d be reluctant to recommend any form of punitive discipline.

The 96th Annual Academy Awards Oscars
are scheduled for March 10 at 7 p.m.

For Academy Award Oscar fans the book 50 Oscar Nights by Turner Classic Movies’ Dave Karger is a must read. For nearly a century, movie fans have been riveted by the Academy Awards and the stars who have won Oscars. 50 Oscar Nights takes readers behind the scenes of Hollywood's most storied award’s show through new and exclusive interviews with dozens of A-list actors, filmmakers, and craftspeople spanning 60 years of the Oscars. These artists reflect on their winning work and recount all the details of how they got ready for the biggest night in movies, what they wore, how they felt when they heard their name called, how they got up on stage to accept their award, and how the entire experience impacted their life.

“Nature is pleased with simplicity.”
– The Uphill Skater –

Nature may be calling you loud and clear, so be sure your ear buds are tuned-in properly, or you may miss the message. Perhaps nature is calling you to eat more natural foods. If this is the case, and I promise it is, you probably know there are many products out there, claiming to be edible, that are NOT natural foods, and they are terrible for you. I am not going to go on about this, simply because you already know…hello! However, spring is here which makes it much easier to say hello to foods grown and resourced as close to home as possible, maybe even in your own garden.

Be aware of your personhood and to make sure you are
expressing it in and out of a love relationship.

Single life is a series of challenges. But the one that leaves me breathless even as I write this is the supersize twin dare to be undependent (aka whole) during unpartnered phases and to keep that sense of self while coupled. And no, that's not an impossible dream. Radical, yes, but eminently doable. What it takes is conscious—and constant­vigilance.

Q: Our eight-year-old, the oldest of three, is often rude to his siblings. I know some sibling conflict is normal, but this seems excessive. I hear him multiple times per day tell his younger brothers how annoying they are. In addition, he often yells at them to stop whatever they are doing that he doesn’t like. We’ve asked him to stop berating and yelling at them and have him rephrase his disrespectful words, but his disrespect doesn’t seem to be improving, and it’s beginning to drive us up the wall. Thanks for any advice you can give us.

A healthy colon is a much taken for granted organ when working properly. However, when things go awry, it can turn into a terrible situation. The colon is essential for waste removal in the body. If it’s not working properly, the body can’t absorb essential nutrients, or rid itself of waste. Colon health is incredibly important, although it’s not something most people want to talk about—even to their doctor.

March is Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month—the perfect time to educate yourself about this disease. Colorectal cancer is highly preventable when detected early, but deadly when ignored. It’s the second leading cause of cancer deaths in the United States. And, there is a rise in early-onset colorectal cancer diagnosis—that’s the under-50 crowd.The lesson here is don’t leave your colon health to luck. If you have symptoms, changes in your bowel movements, a family history, or it’s just time to get things checked, trust your gut and get checked. Don’t put it off…colorectal issues are just too hard to stomach.

Here’s what some of the Lowcountry’s medical experts had to say:

As the Reel Corner recovers from knee replacement surgery, I wondered if there were any films with a knee or leg injury as part of the story line. Believe it or not, there was plenty to choose from. Included were I Tonya, Bend it Like Beckham, and Varsity Blues.

After reviewing the list, the one that stood out most to me was Alfred Hitchcock’s Rear Window, where Jimmy Stewart solves a murder with his leg in a cast and without ever leaving his room. If you have not seen Rear Window, or perhaps forgotten about it, stream it. You will not be disappointed.

“I just enjoyed a bowl of soup.
So why is that a big deal you may ask?”
– The Uphill Skater –

I just finished a big bowl of my favorite cold-weather, delicious go-to meal: soup. I love soup and frequently enjoy it with fresh bread, chunks of cheese, a sliced apple, or crackers. I try not to let anything go to waste in the kitchen, and my numerous soup recipes actually bare that out. My one exception is a tasty soup called Autumn Harvest, which I’m happy to share the recipe for: Go to Panera Bread (they even have a drive-thru) and order the Autumn Harvest soup. It’s so good!

It's true that being single isn't all fun and dream dates;
on-your-own-ness can feel downright lonely.

(And my reminder that marrieds also have their down times doesn't always break the mood.) Single life may have become the majority lifestyle here in America, but that fact doesn't help when you're trudging to the corner coffee shop for Saturday brunch. Alone. Believe me, I know. Which is why I'm suggesting my one-word cure for the blues: adventure.

Q: Concerning chores, another expert recommends giving a child a certain number of chips, like poker chips, every month and if he or she fails to do a chore or doesn’t do it properly, you take a chip away. The chips can be used to purchase clothes and other things the child wants but doesn’t necessarily need. The child can also regain lost chips by doing extra chores. My wife and I are searching for a way to get our kids, ages 6 and 9, to do some light lifting around the house. What do you think of this system?

Matters of the heart are serious. More than any other female medical condition, heart disease is No. 1, and in this case, it is not a good thing. It is the No. 1 cause of stroke, disability, and death in women…and men. Once thought to be only a concern for men, women need to take heart when it comes to their heart health.

Is your body communicating signs or symptoms? Are you paying attention? These Pink Prescriptions’ heart-healthy answers to our questions, provided by local cardiology experts, are the facts. Educate yourself! Do not ignore the signs! Talk to your care provider and ask questions. It’s your health, and when it comes to matters of the heart, it is as serious as a heart attack. Read on to learn more.

As award season kicks off and winners are predicted with the likes of Maestro, Killers of the Flower Moon, Barbie, Wonka, Oppenheimer, Past Lives, Poor Things, Anatomy of a Fall, and May December, my vote is on the small independent film, The Holdovers.

“I love the ‘You Go, Girl!’ slogan,
but before we all jump on the bandwagon,
let’s be sure exactly where it is we are going!”
– The Uphill Skater –

We girls are on the go, no doubt about it. However, speaking from simply a foodie point of view, I find the way to actually go nutrition-wise can be murky, to say the least. As regular readers know, I am always on the hunt for not only new things and new science about food, but I am also looking for that “myth buster” new science that may increase our health benefits, while still being edible, if you know what I mean!

Dear Susan:
My wife and I divorced about six years ago. She initiated it and moved out shortly thereafter. After two years of having joint custody of our three children, she decided to "temporarily" move across the country to gain work experience. She asked me to take care of our kids full time until she came back. I happily agreed, but the kids were sad, though they still (like me) believed she'd return soon. Well, six months became a year, and then I received an attorney's notice that she was asking the court for full custody—plus permission to take the kids out of state to live with her. Long story short, she lost a ferocious and expensive court battle—and the kids are staying with me.

Q: Concerning chores, another expert recommends giving a child a certain number of chips, like poker chips, every month and if he or she fails to do a chore or doesn’t do it properly, you take a chip away. The chips can be used to purchase clothes and other things the child wants but doesn’t necessarily need. The child can also regain lost chips by doing extra chores. My wife and I are searching for a way to get our kids, ages 6 and 9, to do some light lifting around the house. What do you think of this system?

Eye exams at every age and life stage can help keep your vision strong. About 11 million Americans over age 12 need vision correction—but it’s just one of the reasons to get your eyes examined. Regular eye exams are also an important part of finding eye diseases early and preserving your vision. Early treatment is critically important to prevent some common eye diseases from causing permanent vision loss or blindness. Of the estimated 93 million US adults at high risk for vision loss, only half visited an eye doctor in the past 12 months. Regular eye care can have a life-changing impact on preserving the vision of millions of people.
(Source: www.cdc.gov)

A biopic is a movie that dramatizes the life of a real, non-fictional individual. Short for “biographical motion picture,” a biopic can cover a person’s life or one specific moment in history. Topics for biopics are endless, with famous figures from history, along with popular celebrities of late, being featured.

“So, let’s talk about choices—what you eat,
how you respond to things going on around you,
and your approach to the holiday season.”
– The Uphill Skater –

I’ve had a wooden sign in my kitchen for many years. It reads: "Be The Change You Want To See In The World."  It’s a daily reminder that I can make a difference. A friend of mine made it for me because we attended a conference together in Bluffton that dealt with accepting personal responsibility for one's actions. The conference centered on the importance of how we utilize and dedicate our volunteer hours. In addition, it also focused on personal choices, which is why the sign is so important to me. Every time I look at it, I immediately go back to the lessons from this conference on how my choices make a difference whether they are good or bad. I don’t know about you, but dear friends, I want my choices to be good ones, and I want to make a positive difference.

Dear Susan:
Recently, a reader praised one of your past columns, “What—Me Marry?” He said it was good advice, to be remembered when considering marriage. He was so enthusiastic that I’m curious to read it for myself. I’m wondering whether you would repeat it—or at least the best parts.
—Frida J., from the “Single File” blog

Q: I’m already dreading the holidays. Our eight-year-old is a very excitable child and our family is expected to attend numerous holiday get-togethers at the homes of family members. When he’s included in events where there’s lots of excitement and anticipation in the air, he has a reputation for becoming very impulsive, loud, talkative, bouncy, and generally annoying. He’s also the oldest grandchild and the other, younger kids tend to follow his lead. I do not want to be constantly correcting him, but I don’t know what else to do.