Dear Carrie: 

I am a 65-year-old widow and am considering getting married again. What financial steps should I take before I tie the knot? –A Reader

Dear Reader: This is a great question—and one worth considering at any age. Marriage is about love, but it also impacts your money. And the financial implications can be even more significant when both partners have had time to acquire and manage assets for many years. This can be especially true for a second marriage.

And it’s not just about numbers. There’s an emotional side to marrying your finances. You need to examine your own feelings about such things as financial independence and also take into account the feelings of your loved ones, particularly adult children.

There’s a lot to consider—both practical and personal. To me, it’s not just about understanding the financial issues on your own but about coming to an understanding with your partner. Although it may feel uncomfortable, it’s important to talk openly and honestly about your finances with your partner.

Here are some things to consider together.

For a good deal of my life, I lived under a dark cloud of fear that I would end up financially destitute—a bag lady. Studies reveal that I’m not the only one. Most of us have felt that way, not because we’re broke but because we lack confidence. That makes us timid, worried and financially insecure.

Look, we don’t have to accept financial insecurity as some kind of life sentence. And that constant and gnawing fear of becoming destitute? Forget it! We can do something about this.

Become a saver. Saving money is like magic because it changes your attitude and calms your fears. I saved my way out of a six-figure pile of debt. Knowing I had cash tucked away in a safe place quieted my insatiable desires. That is where I found my determination to stick with repaying the debt. You must start now, today—no matter your situation, even if you are in debt and struggling to catch up, and even if you are already contributing to a 401(k) plan at work. This is different. You need money in the bank to boost your financial confidence.

Story and Photography by Jacie Elizabeth Millen 

Roger Pinckney, XI was raised to be an ideal Southerner. He has the wit, the manners, and the stature of a true gentleman, but there is more to Mr. Pinckney than meets the eye. Roger is the author of multiple books, including Reefer Moon, Blue Roots, and Crying in the Wilderness. He is also a full-time resident on Daufuskie Island, SC, and gives tours of the island, but he is more than that, too: He is an icon

With a personally rolled cigarette on his lip, Roger and I got to talking. 

Roger was born and raised in Beaufort, where he found his love of writing in high school. He got a full ride to the University of Iowa, considered at the time THE writing school. He continued his education and ultimately earned his PhD in Alaska. He moved to Minnesota, where he started a family. Calling himself a “serial husband,” Roger laughed and said, “I love being a father. I am a better father to my seven children than a husband.”

These days, thanks to the smartphones most of us carry in our purses or pockets,
the smart solution to just about any situation is just a swipe away! In keeping with our
August #smartypants theme, Pink staffers share their favorite smart apps.

Last September, the inaugural Thrive Lowcountry Women’s conference was experienced by 140 attendees and a palpable excitement could be felt by everyone present at the Sonesta Resort on Hilton Head.   A high energy and truly special event with more than 20 dynamic speakers, led to participant reactions such as “THRIVE was the most inspiring conference I have ever attended.”

Here’s the great news... the Thrive conference is returning to the Sonesta on September 5th and 6th, presented by SCORE Lowcountry and the Hilton Head Island—Bluffton Chamber of Commerce.

Laurie Brown, Tamra Avrit, Shar Weinrauch, Elaine Lust and Ellen Maloney are all members of the team working together on this year’s Thrive event.  They also are volunteer certified Business Mentors with SCORE, a ​resource partner of the Small Business Administration and America’s premier source of free confidential business mentoring and education.

Laurie, owner of Aunt Laurie’s, says, “Our goal is to make this year’s event impactful and meaningful so attendees will leave feeling energized and ready to apply what they learned. We’re also working hard to make the conference inspirational and engaging.

Tamra, former CEO of Zeiders Enterprises, says, “THRIVE is a great opportunity for professional women to commit a day to focus on their learning, network, and future.”     

We were never supposed to leave our beach vacation early to plan a funeral for our 3-year-old son. And, yet, within the course of one week, we had driven to the beach, returned without him, and held his funeral. 

Do you know drowning is the leading cause of death in children ages 1-4 and the second leading cause of death in ages 1-14? Do you know that 69 percent of children who drown are not expected to be swimming, yet they are found in water? Do you know that a child can drown in less than one minute? 

Unfortunately, I know these facts all too well; on June 10, 2018, my 3-year-old son, Levi, drowned while on vacation in Fort Morgan, Alabama. 

There is a misconception that drowning only happens when you are swimming. But, drowning also happens when you are 200 feet away from a pool, upstairs, eating Cheetos, wearing your neon yellow crab-hunting shirt, when you leave your mom’s side, even though you are usually Velcro-ed to her. Drowning isn’t splashing and yelling. 

Like millions of people around the world, I was riveted to the recent rescue of the 12 Thai boys and their soccer coach who had been trapped in the deepest, darkest, most terrifying recesses of Tham Luang cave.

I marveled at the bravery, pored over the escape route and tried many times over to pronounce the name of the Thai king, Maha Vajiralongkorn Bodindradebayavarangkun, without losing consciousness.

In the end, a miracle! A magnificent multinational effort to do the impossible. The Wild Boars came out alive! OK, they needed a little anti-anxiety medication: being hauled underwater, for hours, in the dark, over treacherous terrain, in a plastic cocoon, breathing through a face mask, wouldn’t you?

One Thai volunteer diver, Saman Gunan, died, which was tragic. But this was such an astonishing story of courage, determination and success against all odds that it shouted out “healthy lifestyle column,” with lessons to be learned about attaining and sustaining our own personal well-being.

Eleanor Roosevelt, first lady, social activist, and ultimate #smartypants once said, “Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product.” Happiness cannot be pursued on its own; it is a by-product of a lifetime of choices and, yes, a little luck, too.

Since most of us haven’t figured out how to create our own luck yet, the next best thing is to make smart decisions for the future. Career, money, fitness and recreation are just some of the building blocks for a happy, healthy life.

So, let’s make the process a little easier by learning about 
the newest smarty pants trends of 2018.

Last year I attended the Thrive local women’s conference, where I had the pleasure of joining Diana Morrison for a breakout session entitled: “Find Your Posse.” Intrigued, I listened to Diana talk about how important it is to build a network and support system outside your close family and friends, to surround yourself with people who harbor different skill sets from your own, and to learn from them. As I sat and pondered, it dawned on me that I was lucky to already have such a network. I may not have built my posse, but I’d found it in the incredibly talented and dedicated community leaders within the Junior Service League of Beaufort (JSLB). And I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that some of my closest friends are also members ... don’t I have good taste?

Pink went to Coligny Plaza on Hilton Head Island to ask people what they love about America. Happy tourists were glad talk to us and respond to our question:

WHAT DO YOU LOVE ABOUT AMERICA?

“Looks like Freedom rings! We think it’s just nice to stop for a moment, remember what you love about America and be grateful—even if you’re from another country.  Happy July 4th everyone…Keep Calm and Stay Independent!”

Personal well-being is very personal. It’s not about the size of your belly or how many crunches you can do, and it’s certainly not about how many times you’ve been to the gym in the last week. Or year. Decade, anyone?

So play along with me here: On a scale of one to 10, with 10 being the top of Mount Everest for health and happiness, where would you put yourself right now, today, when it comes to your personal well-being? No excuses, no regrets, no judging—just a number between one and 10.

Think for a minute. Take a few breaths. This is called “tuning in.”

Suicide is a final act of fatal desperation: Death as a result of inflicting injury to oneself with the intent to die. The statistics are alarming. Suicide is the tenth leading cause of death in the United States and was responsible for nearly 45,000 deaths in 2016. Since 1999, half of the states have seen a 30 percent increase. And, suicide is a concern throughout the life span. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention notes that suicide is the second leading cause for death in people aged 10 to 34, the fourth leading cause inages 35 to 64, and the eighth leading cause in ages 55 to 64. Eighty to 85-year-olds, who are running out of resources, are also a high-risk group for suicide.

Get ready to light up your summer with fun fashion that explodes with American style. Wearing red, white and blue has long been a classic way to put some patriotic passion into your wardrobe, but this year, it’s all about new ways to sizzle. Set off some fashion fireworks with these sparklers.

Romp and roll. What could be easier and breezier than onesies? One-piece shorts and tops are cool picks for Fourth of July picnics and parties.

Founded in 1998 by longtime island resident and family entertainer Gregg Russell and his wife Lindy, Hilton Head Heroes was born out of a desire to help very ill children and their families enjoy a vacation that would not ordinarily be possible. The families stay in the HERO House located in Sea Pines Resort and are given gift certificates to local restaurants, grocery stores, and island amenities. Most recently, the local charitable organization hosted The Richards Family—Joshua, Katie, Gage (8) and Bo (5) from Logan, Ohio. 

Love yourself! Express yourself! It’s the message of our times. Loving the skin you’re in can give way to a more satisfying outlook and peaceful existence. And who wouldn’t want that?

Of course, some are further along on this particular enlightenment pathway. Take former islander, Gavin Daly, for instance. Now, he makes it look downright easy, living radically, in an enviable contentment. He’s known professionally and in social circles as Knarly Gav, and he more than lives up to this moniker.

Born in St. Thomas, U.S. Virgin Islands, Gavin grew up on Hilton Head and graduated in 1991 from Hilton Head High where he was voted Most Talented. He attended South Carolina’s Governor’s School for the Arts at Furman University, and went on to study trombone performance at USC. A self-proclaimed Rad Dude, Gavin is a professional tattoo artist, a passionate musician, and an extreme surfer and skateboarder.

One of the toughest things I battle in my life is procrastination. My natural response is “I’ll do it later.” There’s a part of me that despises that procrastinator and wages a daily war to defeat it. That’s how I’ve come to rely on the power of habits and routines. If I can avoid having to make a decision, I lose the choice to put it off until later.

Habits are those things we do so often they become automatic. Take my MacBook Pro. You’d be shocked to know just how many hours a day I am on this thing. The keyboard is part of me. My muscles have totally memorized every stroke, the location of every key—until something changes.

I’ve never been much of a binger, but recently I had a humbling experience that gave me new insights into binge-eating... not to mention a bad case of the bloats.

Suddenly, without warning, away from home and visiting family in Florida (who are blameless), I found myself unable to resist Cool Ranch Doritos. Morning, noon and especially at night, I was consumed by consumption.

Four years ago, I lost the ability to do many activities my body used to be able to do, and I wasn’t able to play the sport I loved for 11 months—soccer. I injured my knee, tearing my ACL. I underwent two surgeries, as well as countless of hours of therapy to get my knee back to a state of normal. It took me a long time to trust my knee when participating in any rigorous exercise. I completely cut out activities I loved like skim-boarding, boogieboarding and bodysurfing because I was afraid my knee wouldn’t be able to withstand the impact. However, the one thing I refused to give up was stand-up-paddleboarding. I not only trained my knee to keep my balance, but I also trained my brain to work with my body instead of against it. With this, I found an appreciation for the sport and the area I grew up in—the beautiful Lowcountry. Stand-Up-Paddleboarding (SUP) is not only an effective form of exercise but also an outlet that has become my safe place. And, I am not the only one who has discovered this. I had the pleasure of meeting with Tim Lovett, the owner of Higher Ground, an outdoor outfitter store that offers kayaking and SUP tours and rentals, in Beaufort.

Stepping into the Pat Conroy Literary Center has brought many literary pilgrims to tears. The antebellum home that houses the Conroy Center at 308 Charles Street in Beaufort had no overt connection to the internationally celebrated best-selling author Pat Conroy (1945–2016)—but the diverse artifacts and myriad storytellers to be found at the Conroy Center reverberate with Conroy-esque intimacy and charm. There is, at once, both the presence and the absence of that larger-than-life author of a dozen beloved books, including The Water Is Wide, The Great Santini, and The Prince of Tides. This moving experience has already been shared with more than 2,500 visitors coming from 38 states and 9 countries since the Conroy Center opened to the public in October 2016.

Dear Readers, It happens every year. As grads get ready to enjoy their upcoming independence, I start getting questions from concerned parents who are well aware of the myriad financial responsibilities their new graduates are going to face. They want to help—just enough to get the kids started, but not enough to destroy their motivation.

I’m all for one generation helping the next, but it’s a balancing act for sure. Realistically, with today’s competitive job market, we can’t expect our kids to land their dream jobs right out of the gate. But we can expect them to be responsible, resourceful and aware of the importance of making good financial decisions no matter their job or their starting salary.

On June 12, South Carolina registered voters will vote in the SC Primary election. A high voter turnout is hopeful given the magnitude of these races for the important offices of governor, lieutenant governor, secretary of state and attorney general. A man of the people, who cares about issues important to women, South Carolina Attorney Alan Wilson made it a point to catch up with Pink Magazine.

Many don’t understand the importance of the office of attorney general. Basically, the attorney general is the chief legal officer and chief prosecutor for our state.  There are close to 300 employees in the attorney general’s office, and Alan Wilson has been at the helm since taking office in 2011.

It’s time to make the shift into summer and lighten up your wardrobe. Take some time off from those serious statement clothes and brighten up your fashion outlook on life. We all need a little vacation break...even if we’re not lounging on a cruise ship...but just grilling and chilling in the backyard. Here are 10 must-haves to put on your summer shopping list.

Find Your Rainbow. Rainbow stripes will definitely put you in a good mood—and fast. Bold Crayola colors are popping up in breezy dresses, kimono robes and swimwear everywhere. Even accessories get the rainbow treatment in shoes and handbags.

On Tuesday, October 11, 2016 my life changed forever. I heard my home in Hilton Head Plantation had been destroyed by Hurricane Matthew, but it wasn’t until the following Tuesday that I saw it with my own eyes and felt it with my own heart. I kept a chin-up attitude. My husband (at the time) and I jumped right in, helping the mitigation team empty the house. Our stuff had been reduce to debris. I had to find somewhere to live, contact insurance people, mortgage people, tree people, contractors, structural engineers, storage companies, and mold mitigation teams. I also had to ensure the next issue of Pink would come out on time to keep my business and livelihood alive. It was overwhelming to say the least.

Coligny Plaza, Hilton Head Island’s original shopping center, started out as a “mom and pop” operation in 1955 and has kept that same hometown feel ever since. Sixty-three years in, Coligny is still a place where area entrepreneurs can set up shop and see their dreams come to life. However, the only job harder than being an entrepreneur is being a mom. So, we asked a few entrepreneurs at Coligny to tell us their thoughts about motherhood, moms and anything maternal.

Connie Inggs
Caretta Coffee Company
“I love being a Mom to my beautiful “children” that work at our small business called Caretta Coffee. We are a family, and I believe each and every one of them plays a crucial role in our keeping our small business alive! I also love being a mom to my beautiful twin daughters who are in Oregon. Because of them, I am able to be a mom to others. A mom is someone who nurtures, encourages and loves unconditionally.”

Iris Apfel’s new book Accidental Icon: Musings of a Geriatric Starlet is not really an accident. The 96-year-young larger than life personality has a lot to say in her latest reflections, complete with photographs and illustrations of life as an interior designer, textile expert and fashion influencer. The visionary has had a documentary made about her, has been the face of MAC cosmetics and has been the subject of several museum exhibitions of her clothing and accessories. With her signature oversized glasses, chunky jewelry, colorful clothes and furs, she is the epitome of “cool” ...and she has lots to say about her amazing experiences.

"Pardon me. I’m looking for the perfect Mother’s Day card.”

“You’ve come to the right place. What type of card do you want?”

“Do you have a card for a mother who isn’t very nice?”

“Hmmm? Come with me to the back room. There are some other people wandering around in there trying to find cards for difficult mothers. You know that’s a tough order to fill, don’t you?”

“Do I know that? Guess how many years I’ve been trying to find that card. Better yet, guess how many years I have been trying to get along with my mother!”

In a world where we are bombarded with stress on a daily basis, peace of mind is a welcome respite. Worry not only wears on our psyches, but also on our general wellbeing. When it comes to health, sometimes the medical tests we have to endure can be as daunting as awaiting the outcomes. And, thankfully those medical tests aren’t ordered until there are definite symptoms. However, there is now a tried and true medical test new to the Lowcountry—thermal imaging. It is not a replacement for physician ordered testing; it is an add-on that many are choosing to have in order to detect health issues, possibly years before they become detrimental, or are detected by traditional medicine.

“Instead of disease detection, we call thermography “health discovery,” said Shar Weinrauch, certified thermographer and owner of Coastal Thermal Imaging Medical Thermography. Shar, a 20-year breast cancer survivor, who experienced a rapid growing lump, wished she would have known about thermal imaging before her diagnosis. Nonetheless, she discovered thermography while on her journey to heal herself of cancer, often using alternative methods. “Thermography can detect an area of concern up to eight years prior to it becoming a problem.” Shar likens thermography to “unzipping your skin” and being able to see inside. “In a nutshell, thermography can see your body asking for extra help,” she said.

The relationship between a pet and its parent is more than a relationship of ownership; it is a relationship of love and trust. Pets are an integral part of the family. Because they are so much more than owned objects, you and your pet’s relationship with the veterinarian and his/her team is crucial. There are four main aspects of what to expect during your pet’s appointment.  The key to your pet receiving the best care is good communication between the veterinarian/team members and the pet parent.

If you are out there dating, in addition to always practicing safe sex, protect that heart of yours. Here is a review, some lessons learned and a few tips from other dating gurus:

Being a little retro doesn’t hurt. I have to admit that I struggled with this recommendation. I fully embrace 21st century female independence, (Do I even need to say that?) so when multiple dating experts suggested letting the guy set the first date, the feminist in me recoiled. No, forget the feminist: I recoiled. After reading enough, I realized it’s not about surrendering your power, but about knowing how men’s minds work (not to generalize or anything). “It’s not that men want a woman as a doormat, they just want to play their role as men, as protectors and providers,” says Lisa Copeland, dating coach. That’s not to say you have to be totally silent online; go ahead and reach out to people who interest you. “If you just put your profile online and wait around for someone to message you, you’re not being proactive in your dating life,” says Laurie Davis, founder of eFlirt. But after getting in touch, let him ask for your number, or make plans to meet up for drinks.