Most of us treasure that time of the night when we crawl into bed, pull up the covers, turn off the lights and snooze into dreamland. Unfortunately for some, bedtime is battling time. A full-on fight begins to try to get comfortable, stop tossing and turning, and finally doze off. For those who have trouble sleeping, bedtime can be dreadful, and morning even worse. Sleep is imperative for good health. While sleeping, the body performs a number of repairing and maintaining processes that affect nearly every part of the body. So, when your sleep becomes deprived, truly your whole body—and mind—suffer. Because of its importance, we had questions about sleep. That’s why we asked the professionals to help us get a good night’s rest.

Q: “What have I done to cause my 18-month-old son to reject me?” asks a new dad. Whenever he tries to hold his son, feed, dress, or change him, the child puts up great resistance and screams hysterically for his mother.

A: Actually, Dad is describing behavior that is not at all unusual for this age child. It has its roots in the fact that with rare exception, the parent who has been at the child’s beck-and-call until now has been the mother. During infancy and early toddlerhood, even the most well-intentioned father is considerably less involved with his child than is his wife.

Dear Susan:

I have sexual feelings for my boyfriend, but it's usually when we're apart. I get that rush of lovey feelings when I'm at work or driving to the store; I think of him and how he makes me feel good about myself. More than that, I love that he complements me so well. Still, as soon as I see him in person, all I need is a hug or a quick kiss; all those feelings leave.

So tell me: How weird am I? I come from a non-affectionate family, though we love one another. I married at 19, had a wonderful son and, after I got divorced, vowed never to repeat the mistake of not being true to myself.

“Eat This, Not That Again!””
– The Uphill Skater –

 
The weather is here and it’s time to eat outdoors, grill, picnic, snack at the beach, host backyard barbecues, or dine on a restaurant patio; whichever you choose, just get outside! Some people say that winter is the time for warm comfort foods and heavy gravy, but we know this is not really true, don’t we Lowcountry foodies?

Warm weather brings out some big appetites—places to go, things to do, and food to eat. In order to put a bit of control in place, I am going to do another helpful guide of “Eat This, Not That.” Lots of new information has been put out, and we need time to “digest” the many new findings.

The WAY (2010)
Martin Sheen, Emilio Estevez
Directed by Emilio Estevez

A father heads to Spain to recover the body (ashes) of his estranged son who died while traveling the Camino de Santiago ( The Way of Saint James) and decides to make the pilgrimage himself.

After a two-year journey to gain back the rights to The Way, Emilio Estevez arranged with Fathom Events to re-release the film nationwide last month on about 800 screens. The effort has led to not only a chance to dust off a 12-year-old film, but also to start work on a sequel.

There’s so much more to chiropractic care than a bad back. Chiropractic is a licensed health care profession that emphasizes the body’s ability to heal itself. Often people turn to chiropractic care when pain is involved, but the key to staying flexible and minimizing pain for a lifetime may be in seeking chiropractic care on a regular basis to prevent problems from occurring while maintaining proper working joints—even when you’re not in pain. We asked our local experienced chiropractors questions readers are curious about. Read on to learn more.

Q: My almost-3-year-old, when I begin to do something, will yell, “I WILL DO IT!” When it’s something he can do, fine, but if it’s not, then I just say, “No, Mommy will do it” and that’s the end of it. He also tells me, probably ten times a day, “No nap, Mommy! No nap!” When it’s nap time, however, he goes upstairs and gets in his little bed without a fight. Finally, when I tell him to do something, he’ll say, “Ummmm, no.” But then he turns right around and obeys. Should I make an issue of any of this?

Dear Susan:
A 42-year-old professional woman, I'm new to the single world—and scared to death. I have been away from this type of thing for 15 years and, with an 18-year-old daughter, don't want to end up in a place where her friends hang out. I've been reading "Single File" and the letters that come to you out of neediness. Is it really that bad out there? —From the "Single File" blog

Dear Reader:
The single world—like the married world—is made up of people of all shapes, sizes and colors and is home to every conceivable type of personality, morality and ethical code. You will discover, as you live your life as an unmarried woman, that the type of person you befriended as a wife and mother is pretty much the kind of person you attract (and are attracted to) as an unmarried woman. Your core values won't alter one whit.

“Eat This, Not That Again!””
– The Uphill Skater –

 
The weather is here and it’s time to eat outdoors, grill, picnic, snack at the beach, host backyard barbecues, or dine on a restaurant patio; whichever you choose, just get outside! Some people say that winter is the time for warm comfort foods and heavy gravy, but we know this is not really true, don’t we Lowcountry foodies?

Warm weather brings out some big appetites—places to go, things to do, and food to eat. In order to put a bit of control in place, I am going to do another helpful guide of “Eat This, Not That.” Lots of new information has been put out, and we need time to “digest” the many new findings.

Air is a story about a shoe, granted not just any shoe, but seriously,
a whole two hours about a shoe? The Reel Corner was intrigued and recently
sat down in the comfy recliner seats at Park Plaza Cinema on Hilton Head
and found Air to be much more than about a shoe.

“A shoe is just a shoe until someone steps in it.” —Sonny Vaccaro

AIR
Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Jason Bateman, Viola Davis, Chris Messina
Directed by Ben Affleck

Air is a revolutionary tale that changed marketing culture forever. This true tale follows Sonny Vaccaro (Damon), a Nike executive and athletic recruiter hustling to make the deal of a lifetime.

We all know Michael Jordan became a superstar and arguably the greatest basketball player in the history of the game, and the Air Jordan basketball shoe became a slam dunk—the best known and most coveted sneaker of all time. So how does a filmmaker tell a compelling story to which we already know the outcome?

As if dealing with a monthly period isn’t bad enough, there are conditions some women experience that make matters worse. Almost everyone dreads
“that time of the month” but having a regular menstrual cycle is a good sign.
There are many things that can go wrong whether you’re trying to
get pregnant or not. This month our local medical experts chime in
on four of the most common reasons women experience
menstrual irregularity, severe cramps and pain, and infertility.

My wife and I were enjoying an evening out in one of our favorite restaurants when a family of three—mother, father, girl of perhaps four—were shown to a table next to ours. Immediately, the parents began asking the little one where she wanted to sit. They both stood while she went about trying each chair until she finally settled on one. Well, not really, because as soon as everyone sat, she wanted to move, so she and her father exchanged seats. This entire process took several minutes.

Then the parents began reading to her from the menu and asking her what she wanted to eat. She was obviously having difficulty deciding, so her parents began making suggestions. “Perhaps you’d like this. You had this once and you liked it. How about trying it again?” No, she didn’t think so, so her parents went through the process again…and again…and again.

Dear Susan:
I've been divorced for three years and dated on and off, with many one-time dates. For the past year, I've been seeing a man very different from me in many ways. His life has been harder, and he hasn't had the opportunities that I've been fortunate to have in my life, such as education and a stable family life. During the 20 years of his marriage, he often worked two jobs to help support his wife while she completed college and they raised two children. I really enjoy this man's company; we have fun when we're together, and he always lifts my spirits. He is tender, caring and a hard worker and has values comparable to mine.

“Nature’s Calling
(and I’m not talking about the bathroom)!”
– The Uphill Skater –

 
We refer to nature as “Mother Nature” because we believe nature also has the power to nurture. Of course, with storms (hurricanes, tornados, snow) all over the country this year, this concept may be hard to believe, but if one looks at the totality, it becomes obvious. Our surroundings bring us not only beauty, but also pleasure. Living in and with nature as we do in the Lowcountry is a great example. What an absolute joy it is to live in such a beautiful place, surrounded by some of nature’s most treasured and pristine waters. This is all ours to enjoy, but also to care for, and yes, to nurture; it goes both ways.

Walking away with seven Academy Awards, Everything Everywhere All At Once surprised the crowd by winning Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actress, Best Supporting Actress, Best Supporting Actor, Best Original Screenplay, and Best Film Editing.

If you are not familiar with the film, it is loosely described as when an interdimensional rupture unravels reality, and an unlikely hero must channel her newfound powers to fight bizarre and bewildering dangers from the multiverse as the fate of the world hangs in the balance.

Directed by Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert, collectively known as the Daniels, Everything Everywhere All at Once is a sci-fi action adventure about an exhausted Chinese American woman who can’t seem to finish her taxes.

I used to love sex, but now it’s painful. What can I do to revive my sex life?

If your sex life went from “Oh my!” to “Oh no!” there are a few common reasons and ways to try to revive the connection. Childbirth and pregnancy change the vagina and can result in painful sex for at least the first year after delivery. The weight of the uterus during pregnancy stresses the pelvic floor and can cause weakness and lack of support. This can change the angle of the vaginal canal and clitoris, which then changes sensation for both partners. If the beautiful new baby came through the vaginal route, there can be resulting tears or episiotomies which can cause long term scar tissue and pain during sex. Even C-section moms have changes in the pelvic floor due to the pressure of the baby’s weight during pregnancy. Imagine this change happening to the pelvic floor with multiple pregnancies over the years, the results are compounding and can create lack of sensation, pain with penetration and urinary incontinence.

Q: I have two boys, 18 and 33 months. How much time each day should I spend involved in activities with them? Also, they chase one another around the house and other sorts of roughhousing, but they hardly ever play with their educational toys. Is there some way I can get them interested in these things?

A: The notion that parents need to get down on the floor and play with toddlers a certain amount of time each day is very post-1960s (i.e., without substance). If you feel like getting down on the floor and making a block castle with one of your children, do so. On the other hand, if you don’t feel like it, then don’t. Your children should not learn that you are an on-call playmate.

Dear Susan:
Hello! I've read "Single File" for a long time, and it seems you put a great deal of thought into your responses. You seem to know much about people and relationships. Something has bothered me for a long time, and I sincerely need closure on it but am having a really hard time doing it. About six months ago, I met a guy, "Jay," through a mutual friend. We had an instantaneous connection. It was nothing I had ever felt, and his eyes told me he felt the same. But here's the kicker: He was engaged to another woman. We started talking a couple of days later online and just clicked and clicked and clicked. One night, we decided to meet for a harmless drink after work—foolish to think that's all it would be—but we were weak and intrigued by each other. We never slept together, but we did things we shouldn't have. I fell for this guy so hard. I didn't know what to do. I got scared and insecure and didn't want to feel second best.

“‘Reorganize Your Pantry!’
said every women’s magazine in the world.”
– The Uphill Skater –

 
I subscribe to at least four women’s monthly magazines and read them cover to cover. I am always looking for new stuff, and my magazines are fabulous resources. My husband is not on the same page, but he knows to expect the unexpected when it comes to what’s in the fridge on grocery shopping day, and he has come to expect dinner may or may not be something familiar to him. Another thing he is no longer surprised by: New decorative pillows as a regular occurrence, all thanks to the suggestions of my favorite magazines!

80 for Brady follows 80-year-old Lou (Tomlin) and her three close friends—Trish (Fonda), Maura (Moreno), and Betty (Field)—all of whom happen to be die-hard fans of the New England Patriots and its longtime quarterback, Tom Brady. The film’s opening scene catches up with Lou as she forces her friends to conform to her Sunday Night Football superstitions. That night’s game ends with a win for yet another Super Bowl match.

Rather than remaining content watching the Super Bowl from the comforts of home, Lou decides she and her friends have to be there in person for once. Of course Lou has an ulterior motive for wanting to desperately see the game with her friends, but 80 for Brady, thankfully, doesn’t go too far out of its way to hide her motivation.

Increased work hours and waistlines, less home cooked meals and even less sleep, all result in an increased intake of caffeine and sugar. It’s a vicious cycle. The average American consumes 17 teaspoons of sugar and about 135 mg of caffeine every day. While most are doing pretty good staying under the daily maximum limit for caffeine (read below for details), we are killing ourselves with sugar. However, if you’ve developed a daily habit of energy drinks, you’re not doing yourself any favors with caffeine, either. We wanted to find out the toll caffeine and sugar are taking on our health, so we went to the experts, and here’s what they had to say:

Q: I’m a single mom who works from home. At noon, I pick up my 5-year-old from half-day kindergarten. Because I’m unable to pay attention to her while I’m working, she wants to watch television for the rest of the afternoon. We have a no-TV rule on school days, but I find myself unable to enforce it. If she isn’t watching TV, she’s at my door, complaining of boredom. Help!

A: My mother was single for most of the first seven years of my life, during which she worked and attended college. When she was home, studying or writing, she made it clear that her work was more important than my whims. Did I want more of her attention? Absolutely! Did I suffer because she created and enforced a boundary between us? Absolutely not!

Dear Susan:
I met a wonderful woman a few months ago. She is genuine, warm and honest. She recently announced she had to stop seeing me because if she let herself go, she would fall in love with me; at this time (three years divorced), she wants only a casual relationship. We’ve talked about this before, and I’ve been patient but persistent. We agreed to see each other exclusively. I think most of her problem is fear of being hurt. She says she doesn’t want to hurt me if she never decides to make it permanent, but I think it’s my responsibility, not hers. How do I handle her fears?    —From the "Single File" blog

“There is so much beauty surrounding us,
I hardly know where to begin.”
– The Uphill Skater –

 
Sometimes I gush a little bit. But I have been known to gush a lot if it is about the right thing. Love of our beautiful Lowcountry is, as it happens, just exactly the right thing to gush about. Having lived on Hilton Head Island for 14 years, let me tell you it is, along with the whole area we call Lowcountry, the perfect trifecta of people, scenery and food. 

Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus
A NYT Bestselling novel and soon to be Apple TV Series

Starring: Brie Larson, Lewis Pullman, Aja Naomi King,
Stephanie Koenig, Kevin Sussman

Set in the early 1960s, Lessons in Chemistry follows Elizabeth Zott, whose dream of being a scientist is put on hold in a society deeming women belong in the domestic sphere, not the professional one. When Elizabeth finds herself pregnant, alone and fired from her lab, she musters the ingenuity only a single mother has. She accepts a job as a host on a TV cooking show, and sets out to teach a nation of overlooked housewives—and the men who are suddenly listening—a lot more than recipes, while craving a return to her true love: Science.