For the most part, I gave up judging people about the same time I gave up perfectionism. When I finally got old enough—actually wise enough—to realize I’m not perfect, nor do I need to be, I also relinquished that expectation of others. With the freedom of being released from the shackles of trying to do right, be right, look right and act right all the time, I learned judging others, just like judging yourself, is usually premature and always unloving. In addition, it is binding to the persons on both sides of the judging.

Like it or not, the New Year is a time to reflect on what went right and what went wrong, and make changes in areas you want to improve upon. New Year’s resolutions get a bad rap, mainly because they’re hard to stick to. If you think about it, resolutions, which are a mission to break an old habit in exchange for a new habit, are set up for failure. The problem lies in unrealistic expectations to change these habits overnight, literally cold turkey. It takes a colossal serving of self-discipline and a whopping amount of will power to instantly change. If we had that kind of determination, we probably wouldn’t have to resolve to change anything.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year. Oh wait. That was last month. But…it is the most wonderful time of the year to lose weight. I know that’s your New Year’s resolution. I also know 87.3 percent of those who set weight loss as a New Year’s resolution, do not succeed. Why? Well, the real reason is weight loss is a mental game. If you’re not ready mentally, it’s just not going to happen. But this year let’s blame it on something else and take the pressure off. People don’t stick to their weight loss goals because it’s just too complicated and confusing in this day and age.

Last year about this time, I was one broken human being. On New Year’s Eve, I gladly kissed 2016 goodbye. Like most Americans, who want their mysteries solved in an hour and pains vanished with a pill, I wanted the ruins of my life to magically be restored with the stroke of midnight. But, my fairy godmother did not show up, and 2017 was worse than 2016. However, for this Christmas season, I want to share some of the most amazing moments, which came to me in the form of people showing up exactly when they were needed the most.

As December 25 races toward us faster than the Polar Express, lists seem to multiply and mound with things to buy, things to bake, things to decorate, things to mail, things to wrap and things to attend. I know it all needs to get done, and let me guess, you’re the only one who can do it…all. So instead of trying to convince you to delegate a few tasks—you are not one of the eight maids a milking for heaven’s sake— I am going to add another to-do list onto your to-do pile. Why? Because if it is on the list, I know you will do it, just so you can cross it off.