Hissy Fit - June 2025 - Wag More: Bark Less

July 2025 Issue
by Elizabeth Skenes Millen

 
I was driving through a busy, tourist-filled parking lot when it happened. A man pulled out right in front of me. I quickly slammed the brakes to stop, but still ended up so close I could clearly make out his facial expression. I saw him mouthing something and immediately thought, “What a jerk.” Of course, I braced to get flipped off too, as people tend to do that when it’s their fault. But that didn’t happen. As he pulled around me, he rolled down his window and stopped. “I am so sorry,” he said, sincerely. “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it,” I responded and smiled.

Wow! That was unexpected. What a nice exchange of communication. Two very civil people: One taking complete responsibility for his mistake and apologizing; the other holding no grudge or malice and offering immediate, non-judgmental forgiveness.

Not five minutes later when I entered the traffic on the main road, I noticed a bumper sticker that read, “Wag More, Bark Less.” It made me smile and think back to the incident that had just occurred in the parking lot. I was grateful for how it turned out—no road rage, no wreck. But most of all, I was grateful for a moment of pure human interaction that was good for the soul.

This isn’t a hissy fit about how Americans have a road rage epidemic. This is about the flip side of road rage—kindness and wellness. I believe the two go hand-in-hand. It’s almost impossible to have positive mental health without kindness. Think about it. Most of what ails us, especially emotionally and mentally, stems from negative stimuli and acts of unkindness. I don’t know the exact statistics, but I’ve watched enough talk shows to know people who lead a life heavy with burden, anger and dysfunction have experienced repeated unkindness.

My point is this: When you are kind to others, you are actually being kind to yourself and your well-being. Think of the ramifications on your body of extreme anger, like road rage. Research has found the aggressive stimulation of road rage os very harmful to the body—especially if it occurs again and again.

"When you are angry, you are pouring stress hormones into your blood system, which are harmful to your heart and other functions of the body," said Leon James, a Professor of Traffic Psychology at the University of Hawaii. "So if we experience this kind of escalated anger or impatience in driving every day, you can see that over the years, it's going to have a very strong negative health effect on the driver."

I can only imagine the negative health effects of all the other unkind things people do to each other. I guess the old saying, This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you, is right on. Plus, we are not only harming our bodies by leading angry, unkind lives, we are downright killing our psyche and shriveling our capacity to be
fully loved.

Let’s delve back to the simple dog logic of wag more, bark less. I walk my dog, Henry, a lot. People love him because he is friendly and gentle. He rarely barks. His demeanor attracts people of all ages to come up and give him some love. Occasionally, we run across a dog that barks at everyone. No one goes up to that dog to show him love. He is avoided.

The same applies to humans. When you are kind, you are also approachable. You attract others who want to be around you because you make them feel good, like Henry. If you’re a barker—and we all know several—people want to avoid you like the plague. It’s so simple, yet so difficult. The next time you’re feeling the need to bark at someone just apply dog logic.

The Dalai Lama said, “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” The choice is yours and the benefits of your kindness will nourish your body and soul, as well as others. In other words, there’s something in it for you!

There are so many good things and good people around us; all you have to do is shift your focus and notice. Wag more and bark less. Be nice…it will do your heart good in ways that will leave you smiling for a very long time. Are you wagging? I am.