The Pink Panel - September 2026

Moderated By Judith Lawrenson

Dear Pink Panel,

I can’t seem to unsee this, panel members. I saw a person I know steal something out of a purse at a party. It has been missed by the owner, and the buzz is it’s been stolen. It was a fairly valuable item, and everyone talking about it knows everyone else, too! What should I do? What would you do? I have no one else to ask without letting the cat out of the bag!

Signed,
Claudia


Answers from the Pink Panel

Renee: As hard as it is, you can’t keep silent. My advice is to confront the person you saw take the item. Tell that person you saw what was done, and if it is not returned voluntarily, you will have no choice but to tell the owner what happened. As I see it, you have no choice. Stealing is a crime. Don’t let yourself become a “partner in crime” because it’s what you will be!

Riley: If this were to happen to me, the guilt from knowing what happened would eat me alive if I didn’t confess I knew who did it. You could try to talk to the person who stole the item and let them know you would tell all if they did not return it. This is definitely a tough situation, but returning what was stolen is the right thing to do, and we all know it!

Caroline: I would never insult your questioner by making light of the situation, but on a smaller and less important scale, my children often have drama like this. Brita “saw” Bobby eat the last cupcake” she tells me with chocolate frosting all over her face. Mike “saw” Cole knock over the coffee table, and so on. But I must honestly say that not one of my five children has ever stolen from my purse. I agree with the other panel members that one must report what was seen, but I will also warn you to be a bit careful. Be absolutely detailed in describing what you saw. Don’t let the tables be turned on you. The thief can say you did it to cover yourself, and that she found it in your coat pocket. A person who would steal from a friend might do anything. Do the right thing like Renee and Riley advise, but just watch out for yourself, please.

Judith Lawrenson, Moderator:I waited until last this time because all of the opinions are valid. Telling the victim of the theft you saw is essential, but maybe a face-to-face or phone call is not the best idea. Perhaps send her a note. And maybe a note to the person you saw, suggesting she find a way to make an anonymous return. Please don’t think I’m looking for a cowardly way out; I’m concerned that all of the people involved know one another and are all friends. Dropping a bomb like this could make endless ripples. On the other hand, perhaps the thief is known to others in your group for what she is. Maybe this has happened before and been kept quiet. All kinds of things can come up in this type of situation. Nonetheless, I still agree with Renee, Riley and Caroline. It is going to be very tough, but you really must do it. Sorry!

The Final Word, Elizabeth Millen: I’m more black and white on this issue. I would approach the thief as soon as I saw it happen and ask her what she’s doing. After all, friends should be able to candidly talk with each other. What do you have to lose? This person is a thief, and who wants a thief as a friend? Trust is one of the most important elements in any relationship, and if someone is willing to steal from a friend, they will steal from anyone. By intercepting, you would be doing her a favor by not letting the problem escalate and become a “thing” among the group, possibly saving her from a lot of embarrassment and ostracism. But then the question becomes do you keep the incident to yourself or tell the friend group? This depends on the conversation you have with her and if you believe her story or reasoning. However, is there ever a reason to steal from a friend? No. There isn’t. A friend will usually be glad to help a friend in need, especially if they simply ask for help. In this instance, I think this is a game or addiction for the thief. Either way, it would probably help her to be exposed—she may have a real problem. As for me, she would be deleted from my future guest lists—you either have it in you to steal, or you don’t.

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If you have a question for The Pink Panel, email Judith Lawrenson at at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. The Pink Panel will do their best to give thought-provoking guidance. Remember, panel members’ ages range from 15 to 80, so you are bound to get a wide variety of advice.

Meet This Month's  Panel-----------------------------------

- Renee: accounts manager, youth group leader, grandmother. Renee recently started a women’s Bible study on the Book of Genesis, and there was so much
difference of opinion and argument she nearly quit! She stuck with it, made some modifications, and the group not only survived, but it is growing!

- Carolyn: mother of five, homeschooler, pharmacist, military spouse

- Judith Lawrenson: Pink Panel Moderator, freelance writer, volunteer, and educator

- Riley: rising high school freshman, active in sports, studious.  science fair winner

- Elizabeth: publisher of Pink Magazine, business owner, mom, writer, observer of life and human behavior