The Pink Panel - September 2025

Moderated By Judith Lawrenson

Dear Pink Panel,
I have a terrible habit of rushing to judgments. I know judging people and situations too quickly can cost friendships and block interacting with new people. What are some thoughts and tips for avoiding making snap judgements? What are your suggestions to slow myself down and let things ride a little?
Signed,
Theresa


Answers from the Pink Panel

Renee: I also struggle with the habit of jumping to conclusions. For example, if someone doesn’t respond to me as quickly as I think they should, I begin to imagine all sorts of scenarios of how I may have offended them or start thinking they don’t want to include me. However, I try to remember that what I imagine is seldom true.

I try to just take a deep breath and rewind before I make that giant conclusion leap. I also find that things I judge in others are often things I don’t like about myself. With that in mind, I try to give the person the grace I know God often gives me. Take a step back and try to be a friend, not a judge. And when you do find yourself judging, ask yourself where those feelings come from and if that thought might be more about you than the other person.

Riley: I completely understand being judgy—I do it a lot. I don’t want to though, as it hinders my ability to get to know people or make new friends. Whenever I meet a new person, one of the first things I do is make assumptions about their personality or character. I know this is unfair, so I try to put myself in their shoes, to see situations and people from another point of view. I also think how I would feel if someone cut me out or dumped me without talking or ever letting me know the reason. It is important to empathize with others, which is what I try to do whenever I catch myself being judgmental. 

Carolyn: This discussion has hit home with me, yet again. Since we are a military family and move frequently, I have developed a habit of quickly judging people in situations where I might make a new friend or the kids may want to ask a new child to come over to play, and I’m not sure exactly who they are. (Don’t laugh, this happens when you move a lot.) Anyway, my best advice is to give a new person or situation the benefit of the doubt in most situations. I have found things usually turn out all right.

Judith Lawrenson, Moderator: I love when a topic pops up like this. I hope you have found this as interesting as we all did. If so, send me an email (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.) and make a comment or ask a question. That is what the panel is all about, after all, right?  Hope to hear from you, Best as always, Judith   

The Final Word, Elizabeth Millen: Judging people and situations is definitely your prerogative, however, you do so at the risk of living a small, narrow life. Judging is usually rooted in fear, jealousy, or ignorance, and it can be positive or negative, but rarely accurate.

When one thinks about judging others, negative thoughts are what comes to mind the most. If you feel snubbed by an acquaintance, you automatically think she’s not nice. If a teen becomes pregnant, of course she’s a floozy. If someone is wearing raggedy clothes, they must be poor or not care about their appearance. If someone is grossly overweight, surely, they’re lazy. It’s as if we’ve been universally programmed.

On the positive side, and this bothers me just as much as jumping to negative conclusions, people judge celebrities as automatically worthy of being invited to important world events, no matter if they are smart, making a difference, or even a good person. Celebrities are judged positively simply because of their status. Another case, I had an employee who thought if someone drove a nice car, it meant they were rich, and she was truly jealous. Perhaps, it meant they were in debt? And does being rich automatically make you better? There are so many societal layers to deeming yourself judge and jury.

How often have you judged someone only to find out you were completely wrong? This is why judging is rooted in ignorance—it is a decision made without knowing all (or any) of the facts. A real judge (in the judicial system) bases their final judgements on hearing both sides and weighing the facts as best they can. We sideline judges think whatever we want based on what serves our narrative best, usually to make ourselves feel better. You see this everywhere these days—the news, social media, on the road. Road rage is a judgement—people get furious because they assume (judge) a fellow driver affronted them on purpose. I have pulled out in front of someone when I absolutely didn’t mean to. We all have.

Judging is an inside job! In other words, it is what’s going on in your heart and brain, not in reality. My best advice: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Every person you encounter is going through something and certainly does not need an opinionated sideline judge making it worse. And for goodness’ sake, if you decide to judge—keep it to yourself. There’s nothing worse than spreading lies. Not only does it hurt people, it also hurts society, and it doesn’t look so good on you, either.

If you have a question for The Pink Panel, email Judith Lawrenson at at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. The Pink Panel will do their best to give thought-provoking guidance. Remember, panel members’ ages range from 13 to 80, so you are bound to get a wide variety of advice.

Meet the Panel--------------------------------------------------

- Renee: accounts manager, youth group leader, grandmother. Renee recently started a women’s Bible study on the Book of Genesis, and there was so much
difference of opinion and argument she nearly quit! She stuck with it, made some modifications, and the group not only survived, but it is growing!

- Carolyn: mother of five, homeschooler, pharmacist, military spouse

- Judith Lawrenson: Pink Panel Moderator, freelance writer, volunteer, and educator

- Riley: rising high school freshman, active in sports, studious.  science fair winner

- Elizabeth: publisher of Pink Magazine, business owner, mom, writer, observer of life and human behavior

Would you like advice from The Pink Panel? Email Judith your question at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..