The Modern Day Muse, Muse Song
I am on parole for assault and battery. of my own self esteem. The things I sometimes say to myself could be regarded cruel and unusual. I'm not so concerned about the "unusual" because I enjoy being different, it's the "cruel" that needs to be addressed. That's why the next Modern Day Muse in our series is Muse Song, The Muse of Pampering, Encouragement and Good Company. Muse Song brings you The SELF-KINDNESS Accords.
The Self-Kindness Accords begin with talking to ourselves as if we believe in ourselves. Self-advocacy is an endangered deal in the mortal world. We like to beat up on ourselves. "You can't do this, "You're not good enough," "You're a train wreck;" are things we say to ourselves if we have not been enlightened by self-kindness.
The mind's default function is that of constantly finding fault with ourselves and our environment. A constantly critical mind was a provision we needed in order to stay alert for saber tooth tigers centuries ago. Today's mind needs serious upgrading if we are to evolve into the best mortals we can be in a modern day world where "crouching tigers" is a metaphor rather than an immediate danger. Constant self-criticism smothers the fire of creativity before it has a chance to be anything more than a flicker gasping for air. Self-criticism comes from fear, and fear's imagination is one that rarely serves us. We may have unintentionally internalized and cultivated critical voices in an effort to protect ourselves from taking risks. We imagine consequences usually more terrible than what can really happen. So the result is, we change our way based on fear, because a voice in our head leads us to believe that a lot of things will happen that are fairly certain not to. OR, if they do happen, they aren't as bad as our fear imagined anyway.
Muse Song solicits unconditional self-kindness as a way to excellence. If you follow her prescriptions, you will find some colossal results - as if magic was seeping out of your desk drawers, or was wafting through your air conditioning vents in gratitude for a self well treated. It truly seems like magic, and trying to explain it scientifically would be like explaining why water makes a begonia bloom.
Steps of the Self Kindness Accords
Start listening to what you are telling yourself as if you were an observer of your own thoughts. By using the consciousness of a witness to watch myself for a few minutes a couple of times a day, I am empowered to make changes. If I think "Oops there's that critical thought again. Wow, I say that a lot to myself." Just my simple awareness weakens the effect my inner-critic has on me. It removes the inner-critic from being the voice of knowledge and demotes it to a voice that is out of control and needs some compassionate quieting.
2. BE A SELF-FRIEND
Practice saying the things to yourself that you would say to a good friend. Even if this seems awkward at first, practice for just 15 seconds at a time. Just as a beautiful plant begins to thrive on nurturing attention, so you shall bloom and shine with your glorious potential as you begin to say kinder more gentler things to yourself.
3. BELIEVING ANGELS
Hang out with people who believe in you and who inspire the self you like - your authentic self. Protect yourself with a strong, compassionate inner core from those who do not.
Find more Muse Song prescriptions in the book, The Nine Modern Day Muses (and a Bodyguard): 10 Guides to Creative Inspiration for Artists, Poets, and Other Mortals Wanting to Live a Dazzling Existence.
"Self-nurturing means, above all, making a commitment to self-compassion, to the creation of a loving and positive attitude toward yourself".
If you missed any Modern Day Muses from previous issues go to http://www.2bodyblissmas.citymax.com/paisley.html or www.itsallpink.com.
Jill Badonsky trains creativity coaches, runs a creativity club called Body Blissmas and a Happy New Rear. Subscribe to her free on-line monthly Muse Letter at www.themuseisin.com Her new book, The Awe-manac: A Daily Dose of Wonder will be released December 8, 2008 and gee, makes a great Christmas present.