Suddenly Single

My friend Helen from London came to visit a few weeks ago and we had a blast doing grown up girlie things.

Our friendship has been a long time in the making. I have known Helen for over thirteen years. But we never socialized much. Circumstances and time did not give us an opportunity until recently. 

Helen is my lawyer, and she has seen me through every step and phase of divorce, settlement and moving on. And we both have done just that. moved on.

It's not often that you spend time with someone and you find that you get along 24/7 with no problems at all; when being in their company is so easy and stress free it feels like you grew up together - like sisters. But in a way, even though we grew up on different sides of the Atlantic Ocean, Helen and I have grown up together and we've definitely grown wiser.

During her visit, we took several walks down memory lane during dinners, sipping champagne and treating ourselves to spa days. We started at the beginning when she had just joined the family law team and her name was in small print towards the bottom of the firm's stationary. She is now top dog. She remembered everything from our first meeting, down to what I had on and what a mess I was.  As she said, "It's my job - I get to ask the questions."  Then we laughed until we cried about some of the antics during the then grueling court battles and rulings.  We can do that now, laugh, all this time later.

There are a few things that I have always admired about Helen. One being her strength, she is solid, and that solidity helped me get through some of the toughest - and most liquid tear-streaked situations in my life. Another thing I admire is her faith in the legal system to do its job, and to do it fairly. And the last - and in my opinion the most admirable - is her unbelievable optimistic view on relationships.
That optimism was tested this past year.

When I was in London over the summer, we went to dinner, she said she needed to talk to me. So there's me, thinking OH CRAP, what could he (meaning my EX) possibly be up to now.or.that she must have had a tough case, one where the client was not unlike me in the beginning; a mess. There were times she would ask me to talk to a client or two, just to let them hear my experiences, so they could have a better understanding of what to expect on the emotional side. I sometimes joke that while I have only been married once, I have been through at least five divorces.

Usually our social engagements were kept to a quick drink at the Howard (posh hotel by the law courts off of the embankment) after court or after meetings with counsel every now and again.
This summer we went to Nobu on Park Lane and while the norm in that restaurant is to get you in and out as quickly as possible with (in my opinion) no atmosphere whatsoever - we were there for hours, moving from table to the sterile bar area - that's  a lot of sushi and even more chardonnay.  We talked and talked, but this time she did most of the talking.  She needed me. I was her support.

Her life had just blown apart. Her fiancÈe walked out on her. One minute she was planning a spring wedding in Capri and the next she was sending his Hermes ties and Saville Row suits to Good Will. No explanation, nothing not a word, just the keys through the letter box.

Now Helen was zombie-ing through the day-to-day tasks in life, wondering when and if she could ever get over this and be a whole person again. I had never seen Helen so happy as she was when she announced her engagement to Mr. W (W standing for wanker - she has another name for him, but it is unprintable). And now she was equally as devastated. I had never seen Helen so vulnerable. I knew exactly how she felt. She spent hours talking and asking me what was wrong with her? How could he do this? They had just set the date for their wedding, just a ton of unanswered questions. (There are still no answers, seven months later, other than what she figured out and put together.) It appears that Mr. Wanker is a serial wanker.

The good new is, like it did me, this experience has made Helen rethink her life and what she wants it to look and feel like. She came to Hilton Head with her list and five year plan.  She fell in love with the island, as many do, and is now in the process of looking for a house here.  This is wonderful, after all the years we have known each other, and spending this recent time together, it's evident that we really are the sisters we never had.

Like I said, Helen is rethinking her life and what she wants. She doesn't want to be tied down and loves the freedom to think that she can have and do what she wants to. What a mistake it would have been to walk down the rose petal strewn aisle with the wrong person.

I hated seeing her the way she was in June. She was beaten down, she was sad. This time, when I picked her up from the airport, I saw a new person. The person that is taking charge of her life again and making the most of it.her optimism is back and stronger then ever.

I sent Helen an early Christmas present in the form of a surprise call from a very dishy and handsome, single, age appropriate, successful, charming, blue eyed, tall, English gentleman, with hair, who happens to be a very good golfer and by the time this gets printed will have called her and no doubt they will have gone on their first and fingers crossed not last date!

Have a wonderful Christmas! And thanks for reading all year!

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