Suddenly Single

It started strong with "This is what friends are for." The girlie posse was growing. Over the holidays friends met other friends, and we all became good friends. We planned an evening out. Marie, Judy and moi. I was so excited and completely forgot about plans I made with Mr. Crown and Ginger. That didn't go over well - at all. And I don't blame him. Looking back, my cavalier "you can come if you want, but I am going out" attitude was not nice. I was not trying to be mean. I just stomped my independent, I do what I want foot on his. After a dose of common sense from Marie and the "if you want to be in a relationship talk" I saw that it is possible to be independent without being obstinate. I took a rain check with Marie and Judy, and the girlie posse had even more fun at a later date. Note to self: selfish and stubborn are not attractive qualities. March brought confidence. "Ask me what I want and brace yourself, I will tell you." The press was riddled with what women want, and I was in my glory. Finally, single women were not the minority with a whopping fifty-one percent loving it. Music to my ears, Singledom was and is alive and kicking. The real bonus for me? I finally figured out what I want instead of rattling off a list of what I didn't want. I'm not the meek divorcee that was afraid to walk into school way back when. I am woman; hear me roar! April was unbelievable. "What was lost had now been found." To this day I still can't believe that my friend Terry came back into my life. We had met over thirteen years ago in London at a swanky fab Krug champagne party at a private club in the West End of London. Fast forward to Hilton Head. Terry and Mic were out to dinner with mutual friends Judy and Jack. Obviously we didn't know we had these mutual friends until Terry heard Sophie (my daughter) speak in her lilting English accent. One thing led to another and Terry started yelling down the table to Mic that Sophie was my daughter. Terry had read Suddenly Single, saw my name and knew I was here. The next day I knew she was too, and we worked through the years over eight hours and some excellent chardonnay. Having Terry back in my life has meant so much to me. We have history and a closeness that is hard to come by. I am lucky! May brought on a holiday I used to dread and now love. "Happy single Mothers Day" to me. My family unit has come a long way geographically and emotionally. From London to Hilton Head during a tricky growing up time for Luke and Sophie. It has not always been easy and sure at times I questioned decisions I have made (and still do), I have tried not to look back, although at times you cannot help it and tried to stress to my children, look forward, don't dwell on the past and learn from your mistakes. I think about our lives and how everything is turning out all the time, but reflect more on Mothers Day. Here comes the bride. In June, Mr. Crown and Ginger and I went to my friend Susan's daughter's wedding, and what a wedding it was. Perfect setting, stunning bride, and handsome groom. It was picture perfect and for a fleeting moment I pondered whether or not I could take the plunge again. Could I do it? At my age? After being alone for so long? I decided that I liked Mr. C&G too much to marry him. Note to self: don't stress too much about it. He hasn't asked. July and August were history lessons. I finally spilled all the details of how "Suddenly Single" came to be. While I try not to live in the past as I have said countless times, the story needed to be told. Divorce is miserable, but that doesn't mean the end result has to be. Moving on, understanding, growing and allowing yourself to be happy are the good end products of a gut wrenching process. And that holds true for anyone who has to sort through it. For me, I would rather be lonely and single than alone and married. Suddenly Single Rules, and I posted them all over the house, from the thermostat to the laundry room. From pajamas at the table to no shoes in the bedroom. Loud and clear, and I don't even have to yell any longer. I have learned that a calm approach gains more attention. Now I am calmly waiting for the day when my children have their own home so I can leave the dishes in the sink, never make a bed and slob on their sofa. I don't know how I had so much time on my hands in November. I had time to soul search. I took a trip with Luke to Wales and London and loved being there with him. I counted myself lucky that my eighteen-year-old son still thought Mum was cool enough to traipse around London with. I had the confidence to leave Sophie with one of my BFF's here, knowing that Judy would take care of Sophie like her own daughter. I had time to think about my independence, freedom, compromises, strength, weaknesses and relationships. I decided that slowly, possibly I am gaining some wisdom from years past. Note to self: some may call it Bit&*%ness. December gave me an early Christmas present. A friend until the end. It was a friendship long in the making; it took over thirteen years. But good things come to those who wait. Helen, my solicitor, and I cemented our friendship and moved on over trips down memory lane, dinner, champagne and a girlie road trip. I loved her company, her new found strength and her five-year plan. Helen is an inspiration, and we will grow old together as wonderful friends. Happy New Year to all! Let's see what this Suddenly Single year will bring. It is already beginning on a very interesting note, but you will have to wait until next month to see. Thank you again for reading. You can contact me at This email address is being protected from spambots. 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