Skating Uphill

Last month, I promised to discuss ways in which our very best efforts can actually be sabotaged by our very best friends. Notice I used the words "very best" twice. I will use it again because I honestly think that people's hearts are in the right place, as their very best intentions are to help us feel better about ourselves.  If I did not try to buy into this, I could get very angry. and so will you when you read some of the things that have been said to those of us who "skate uphill," trying to honor a healthy paradigm.

The idea for this article was ignited when a friend told me that her husband told her she did not need to lose weight because he loved her just the way she was. I know this is intended to help, but if my friend was happy just the way she was, she would not be trying to make changes. I have heard this particular comment before myself, among others, so I decided to ask my friends, who have been making the effort to keep it up, and see if I could detect some sort of pattern. Boy, was I shocked. In just a couple of visits over coffee and a few phone calls, I amassed more than 15 helpful comments that were made to encourage those who are actively trying to make changes for the better. Have you heard any of these from people who are trying to "help" you?"

1. You have done so well with your food all day today. Let's go out to dinner to celebrate.
2. I made this just for you.
3. This is my specialty. Just try a little.
4. If you don't want to eat this, then what DO you want?
5. Don't lose any more weight; your skin will sag and you will look old and haggard.
6. You look sick. Have you lost weight?
7. If you are at a plateau, that means you are at the correct weight and your body has stabilized.
8. Come on, I thought this was your favorite. (This is a variation on "I made this just for you.")
9. I miss the way we used to share ice cream in the evenings, a glass of wine, going out to dinner, cooking together, experimenting with desserts, etc....You get the idea.
10. This is pretty low cal; I made it with margarine, not butter.
11. Don't lose weight for me. I like a little meat on the bone.
12. Skinny people are NOT healthy.  (This was my grandma's favorite.)
13. I am buying this for me. You don't have to have any if you don't want to.
14. Don't worry, kids. Mom will go off this diet pretty soon like all the others and then we will get some real food again!
15. I bought you a candy bar because I didn't want you to feel left out.

I am sure you can think of many more of these gems, and this is not the least of it. We are surrounded by advertisements for luscious restaurant food, as well as slim, beautiful models drinking wine and telling you how good things taste. I have often thought that they spit it all out the minute the photo shoot is done.

Finally, and I have saved the worst for last. The most difficult saboteur to fight is you! I know this to be a fact from my own weight loss experiences. I rationalize in the store, at the fridge, and in my pantry. I do it at parties and restaurants, too. I tell myself that I can exercise it off tomorrow, when I know that it will take extra hours, not minutes, to get rid of even a hundred calories. I say I am only going to have a taste then wind up with a plateful. I buy my beloved salty snacks at the grocery store, and while I am putting them in the cart, I am telling myself I am not going to eat them. I'm sorry, but how stupid is that? I love those wafer thin pretzels with crunchy peanut butter, and the bag literally calls out loud to me if I have it in the pantry.

How does anybody actually stay on track at all with these things around to undermine efforts? If you read "Skating Uphill" last month, you know it is all about motivation; it is about finally caring for yourself, living your best life now, and wanting to be the best person you can be. Once you adopt this powerful attitude, it will project, and believe me, it is highly contagious.

While it's easier said than done, all I can say is you have to want it.badly! You have to really want it for you. The good news is when you get to the place of truly wanting it and believing you are worth it, you will be able to stand in your power and put all the naysayers and saboteurs politely in their place, including yourself.

Tune in next month for detailed information concerning food definitions. What is organic-how is it different from natural, organically grown or pure? You will be surprised at some of the labeling practices and meanings. Plus, learn to determine the value of different product lines. Knowledge is power, so don't miss it!