My 3rd Act - September 2026

September 2026 Issue
By Melinda Rooney


This is my eighth month writing this column, and over time, I’ve come to believe that one consistent ingredient in a successful retirement—if there is such a thing—is building and maintaining social relationships.

Since moving to the Lowcountry, I’ve been fascinated by how many men and women in our social circle have maintained friendships that began decades ago. I love hearing stories about the people I know now from the people who knew them back then. There is something remarkable about a friendship that has survived 40 or 50 years—college, careers, marriages, children, moves, and all the inevitable twists and turns of life.

In this column, I often talk about the importance of our friend groups and the community we’ve built here. But if I’m being honest, my husband and I haven’t done a particularly stellar job of maintaining many of our old college friendships. So, our 40th reunion this past summer in New England felt like a bit of a wake-up call.

That weekend reminded both of us that these are people we want to keep in our lives. I wouldn’t say time had been entirely gentle to all of us—but that hardly mattered. Our classmates showed up. They jumped in. There were hugs, handshakes, laughter, and stories that picked up almost exactly where they had left off four decades earlier. For a few days, it felt as though we had simply stepped back into a version of ourselves we hadn’t seen in a very long time. Something about the experience gave me a lift back to younger days, and honestly, some of those days I’d like to forget, but others I’ll treasure always.

One of our mutual friends said it best: “It was like watching our 1986 yearbook jump to life.”

And that got me thinking about just how important it is to hold on to these long-standing social ties and how impressed—and maybe a little envious—I am of those who have done just that. What is it about seeing yourself in the eyes of a 40-year friendship that enhances who you are today?

Maybe it is the connection between our younger selves and our “not-so-young” selves that comes to light. The mistakes we made—and never want to make again. The successes we achieved and the longing to hold onto that feeling of ambition and even pride. These friendships remind us of the people we were before careers, marriages, children, responsibilities, and life experiences shaped us into the people we are today. They remind us who we were. They remind us how much time has passed. And perhaps most importantly, they remind us how incredibly lucky we are to still have people in our lives who knew us before we became who we are today.

We may not talk every month—or even every six months. We may live hundreds of miles apart and have completely different day-to-day lives. But somehow, the connection remains. I know that if I reach out with a text, a phone call or a “Remember when?” we can pick up right where we left off.

As if no time has passed at all.

Melinda Rooney is a freelance writer whose roots stretch from the New York–Connecticut area to the Carolinas. A wife, mother, and grandmother, she raised her family in Charlotte, N.C., before settling into Lowcountry life with her husband Bob in 2023. An avid tennis player, she now enjoys writing about the people, places, and stories that inspire her.