Hissy Fit...
Welcome to the Neighborhood!
Ever think back to the neighborhood you grew up in? Remember your mom sending you next door for a cup of sugar, or getting your neighbor's mail when they were on vacation? Remember you and your friends riding bikes in the street, parents watching out for one another's kids, kind neighbors offering food and a shoulder when someone passed away? What happened to that time? Has it really been that long ago that we've forgotten what our moms taught us? Like if you borrow 3 or 4 eggs, always return a dozen. Or when borrowing a garden tool, return it cleaner than when you got it. When someone new moves into the neighborhood, take over a cake. I don't know how or when a cake became the proper way to welcome neighbors, but to this day, it's what I do.
I am fortunate enough to be surrounded by many such neighbors who treat my kids as they would their own, loan me various cooking ingredients when necessary, and are quick to offer a smile and a "how are you?" To me, this is what being a neighbor is about, and I am bound and determined to pass this along to my children. I love that my neighbors call on me for all sorts of things: Leslie once called and asked to borrow a pork tenderloin (yes, a pork tenderloin), Ms. Joyce across the street called today looking for a good dry cleaner, and Pamela, Melanie and Rhonda helped me fill 1,106 eggs for our neighborhood Easter Egg Hunt. I am proud they consider me a good enough neighbor to ask. Whether I have an extra pork tenderloin or not, just knowing that Leslie knew she could ask me made me feel proud.
Unfortunately, not everyone is a good neighbor. Somewhere in the last ten years or so, we seem to have lost either the time or the desire to be neighborly. How many of you actually know your neighbors' names? Would you know if they had a family or medical issue? My husband and I were the first people on our street to move in, and I made a point to welcome each neighbor around my cul-de-sac. I don't know why I did this, I just know it's what my mother taught me to do. Kind of like saying please and thank you. Shortly after welcoming Bob and Joyce to the neighborhood, Leslie called to say Bob had been taken to the hospital. We immediately went into action, coordinating hospital visits, offering meals, whatever. When I arrived at Bob's hospital room, Joyce about broke into tears. She told me they hardly knew their old neighbors, even though they'd lived there for years. She couldn't believe we all cared so much. I told her, "that's what neighbors do."
And sometimes, a neighbor can turn into so much more. Little did I know when I invited a new neighbor's son to my son's birthday party, I was not only getting a new best friend for Ben, but one for me, too. Leslie and I have made it through carpooling, football season, basketball games and cancer. And we're still going strong. To think we'd never even known each other if I hadn't made the effort to be neighborly, and if she hadn't reciprocated.
Then there's the other side of the coin: I have a friend whose neighbor's only purpose in life seems to be to complain about her. She thrives on trying to make my friend's life miserable. She complains incessantly to the Homeowners' Board about ridiculous things, and gossips to anyone who will listen. Thankfully, most have learned to stay away from her. My friend has taken the high road-ignoring the behavior and not retaliating. Sometimes being a good neighbor simply means not engaging a bad neighbor.
There are those who say they're too busy. Others say their neighbors aren't friendly to them. I say it's time to take back our neighborhoods! And you don't have to start with a cake-simply exercise what I call boat etiquette: smile and wave, folks, smile and wave. Boaters know what I'm talking about. Everyone you pass, young, old, in a yacht or a dinghy, smile and wave. It's just the way it's done. So start small: try waving at people in your neighborhood-you'll be surprised how many wave back. And even if they don't, just keep doing it. You'll feel better, and eventually they'll come around. You can work up to the cake. Remember, you never know the effect one cake can make in someone's life. And who knows, you might also find a best friend.