Publisher - December 2025

Photography by
Cassidy Dunn Photography

“Blessed is the season
which engages the
whole world in a
conspiracy of love”
— Hamilton Wright Mabie ——

When’s the last time you’ve been in a restaurant, and at the table of four next to you, all four people are on their phones? Today? Yesterday?

It can be a table of adults or parents with children (any age), whatever the mix, the phones are front and center. It’s a sad time we live in, when whatever fodder is on the phone is more meaningful than the friends, family and loved ones sitting at a table with you sharing a meal.

When the phones are out, no one is actually sharing a meal together. It is true they are sharing a table, but they couldn’t be further away from each other if they were in different states. Because, in actuality, they are in different states—states of mind.

Ironically, we are also in the same “state” in that we are living in a constant state of emergency that is causing anxiety at record levels. As a people, we are disconnecting at an alarming rate—cell phones, headphones, televisions in every room, video games, meals in the car or in front of the television. What are we doing to ourselves?

There are consequences to this “togetherness of isolation”, and we’ve only seen the tip of the iceberg. There’s no doubt we are overdue for a visit from that famous Christmas trio who will show us like it was, like it is, and what we’re headed for if we don’t change our ways. We all need to hang up the phones and because the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future are trying to call. They have serious lessons for us, and some of their messages may feel like a nightmare. These three love a rude awakening.

Meet the Ghost of Christmas Past: For most of us, Christmas Past is the friendliest of the ghosts. He walks us down memory lane, reminding us of days gone by when families and friends would gather for big meals, and children would play games like Hi-Ho-Cherry-O together. The thrill of opening even one gift was palpable among the crowd around the tree. No one was in a hurry or worried about what’s next, practically having a foot out the door before ever walking in. The adults would sit around the table after the meal was complete and talk for hours. Children would share their new gifts and go outside for a game of hide and seek or freeze tag. None of us knew these were the best of times when people actually listened and joined in without distractions or the need to show a funny reel to someone. We had a skill back then of creating our own humor. And as far as reels go, my dad was a camera nut, and he took video of our special times. Often, at Christmas, he would set up the projector, and we would all watch old home movies on real reels that had no sound—sometimes for hours. Can you imagine? No one looked at their watch, we were just happy to be immersed in the joy of being together, laughing at how we all looked in the movies, and building new stories and memories for times to come.

Looking back, it sounds pretty idyllic. Maybe it was. Dean Martin’s Christmas album played on the console stereo for everyone to hear. No-one was plugged into their own silent concert, disconnected from the festivities, the mood, the togetherness, the joy. It was an all-for-one, one-for-all environment, not an I’ll-do-my-own-thing event right after I take another selfie. Finally, the Ghost of Christmas Past, will show you talking, laughing, connecting, engaging, smiling, and having a straight neck, because the one obvious thing missing is the smart phone. Just the name of it makes Christmas Past scoff—Bah Humbug!

Take a moment to remember your Christmas past and what you loved about it. It can be quite nice. Even the unshelled pecans, Brazil nuts and tangerines in stockings have appeal now in comparison.

Now, Meet the Ghost of Christmas Present: Well, things have changed, haven’t they? Gracious, it’s hardly worth thinking about, except you know what they say: You have to identify the problem before you can fix it. We all know what today looks like and have to admit, it’s probably worse in some families than others. However, there’s not a family out there that isn’t competing with today’s promotion of isolation via technology. But let’s focus on what we can do to turn things around right now. This isn’t a “wait-’til-next-year problem, it’s a I-want-my-best-holiday-life-now solution.

First, ban phones and all the other brain-sucking technology from your home during your holiday celebrations. Treat phone users like smokers—make them go outside. But first, make them have to scrounge through a basket of confiscated phones that you’ve hidden so they have to ask permission and see your mournful scowl. (Desperate times call for desperate measures, a.k.a. shrewd mom moves!) Why go to this extreme? So you can love and be loved fully, feel grateful, have peace, be emotionally available, and be fully present. Everyone’s presence is a gift, better than anything wrapped under the tree. I heard a phrase once—“Be Here Now.” And that’s what we all want from our loved ones—just to BE present when we’re together, fully immersed in the day. And to gain extra pecan pie points, also be enthusiastic, allow your energy to add to the festivities, don’t watch the clock, don’t look at your phone, don’t just sit there like a day-old Yule log…just BE here. All of you, completely here!

Well, the Ghost of Christmas Future is torn. She’s not sure which path you will choose this year for Christmas Present. The two paths have very different outcomes, one that will either fill and nurture you or the other one that will absolutely wear out and harden your spirit. Your meeting with the Ghost of Christmas Future is up to you and based on what you decide to do right now. I’m rooting for Christmas Presence!

The Holidays are a special time for the entire world, be sure to make it special in your home, too. You deserve it.

Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! Happy Hanukkah! Let’s all Eat, drink, and
Be Connected!

Think Pink,
Elizabeth Millen