Hissy Fit - October 2025 - Before You Review: Review This

October 2025 Issue
by Elizabeth Skenes Millen

As we move from the height of tourist season to our local stores, businesses, and restaurants being a little less crowded, I want to remind you of the wonderful community we live in, and that it takes all of us to make it a great place to live. Though, I wrote the following article in 2019, I want to run it again, as it is a great reminder of the influence you have on our local businesses. All I ask, is please use your words wisely. We are living in a time when we all need some extra grace.

Stop. Drop and Be Reasonable.

Before you leave that scathing review about how your server didn’t bring your ketchup timely, or rush to get your child their fourth Coke, please employee reason before you tear down and damage someone’s hard-earned business with intolerance and unreasonable expectations.

I don’t leave reviews—good or bad. Why? Probably because I have no desire to be the authority on everything, and I don’t trust reviews. But more importantly, I am a business owner, and I understand and respect the incredible amount of dedication and hard work that goes into building a business and making a company run.

Have you ever been a business owner? If not, allow me to clue you in: It’s hard! Most business owners I know work hard day after day because they believe in their business, need to support their family and employees, want to satisfy their customers, and have hopes of achieving the American dream. Then, when day is done, many take the emotional stress and worry home with them, as well. Business owners don’t get to leave it all behind because they are the ones behind it all.

You may be thinking, just because they work hard doesn’t give them a pass to have bad service. I agree. But does it mean they deserve a poor review that will last f-o-r-e-v-e-r on the internet, especially if you didn’t attempt to solve the issue while there? What if every co-worker, customer, and boss you’ve ever dealt with had the opportunity to review you after every interaction—even on your worst days—and that review was posted in perpetuity? Scary thought, uh? You may be a fabulous employee, an expert at your job, and an all around awesome person, but you’re human and subject to mistakes, moods, and mishaps. This is another reason I’m not a reviewer: I don’t want to live in a finger-pointing, blame -game, fishbowl society. I don’t want it done to me, and I don’t want to do it to others. Basically, a new digital age version of the Golden Rule is in order: Review others the way you would have them review you—perhaps with grace.

But what if the service is really bad? I get it; I have left restaurants and stores upset, feeling slighted and disenchanted just like everyone else. But do I need to destroy a business because of my experience? You may think your voice is just one person, and other people may give them good reviews, and it will all work out. Maybe. Maybe not.

If someone tells you your hair is gorgeous, you have a beautiful smile, you’re smart as a whip and you have a big butt, what are you going to remember? You are going to flush the first three compliments and call your friends and tell them so-in-so said you have a big butt. Don’t you think bad reviews are the same way? I wonder how many good reviews it takes to rebuke one bad one?

There are too many factors to consider to be the judge and jury to sentence a business to death based on one experience. If you don’t believe in capital punishment, then perhaps you should not support capitalism punishment, either! Your one hour, at one table, with one employee of an entire organization does not give you enough information to be prudent in your opinion. And that’s exactly what reviews are—opinions, which are always one-sided.

And we all know there are always two sides to e-v-e-r-y story! I’m not saying the business is always right; they’re not. However, review writers have a responsibility to tell the whole story or not at all. On the flip side, review readers need to take reviews—both good and bad—with a grain of salt. There is no way of knowing if the reviewer’s standards match yours. Plus, people can review any establishment at any time, even if they’ve never stepped foot into the place. There are no rules, regs, boundaries, or even etiquette on giving reviews. The review game is powerful with open season all year long.

That’s why we all need to Stop, Drop, Be Reasonable!

STOP.
First of all, plan on enjoying your experience. Don’t go in looking for the bad, as you will always find what you seek. Give yourself time to think about your experience. Think of the positives, as well as the negatives. Don’t write a review while angry. Allow your expectations to match the establishment; if you’re eating $5 tacos, you should not expect a white tablecloth experience. Consider your mood; how did your actions affect your experience? Also, if someone in the establishment solved your problem, don’t hang onto it and write about it in a review. If you plan on writing a bad review whether the issue is solved or not, then don’t bother to seek out a solution.

DROP.
Drop your cell phone…into your purse. Better yet, leave it in the car. This way you are not trigger happy on the reviews. You automatically have to give yourself time to ponder a situation. We are all crazy to allow our cell phones to be a guest at the table, anyway. Why pay hard-earned money for a dining experience only to ignore the people you have chosen to go out with and the food you're eating?

BE REASONABLE:
Allow your humanity to reign. Take the following questions to heart: Are you an expert on what you’re reviewing? Do you want society to become this micromanaged and petty? Would you rather be happy or right? Did you know if one person at the table elevates a problem, it dampens the entire experience with negativity for all? In other words, the complainer ruins the night for everyone. I’m not asking you to stop reviewing if that is your thing, I’m just asking you to use discernment. Your words may satisfy you temporarily, but leave a red tide of collateral damage in your wake for years to come.

So, let’s review. Better yet, let’s not.