Hissy Fit - July 2016
SMH is an acronym that stands for “shaking my head” and is usually used in texting or on social media. According to Urban Dictionary, SMH is used when someone finds something so stupid or shocking, no words can do it justice. Lately, I have encountered a few SMH moments, which I would like to get off my chest. Quite frankly, shaking my head is not working and I’m hoping words can clear the air once and for all.
I wrote about this last summer and since I’ve been hanging out at the pool lately, I have to mention it again. I have seen it for years and sadly it happens at pools across America every day—women who get in public pools and don’t want to get their hair wet. What a ridiculous concept. What a way to set yourself up for failure. What a selfish act of defiance. How stupid. Correct me if I’m wrong, but shouldn’t you stay away from water if you don’t want to get your hair wet? I mean it’s the equivalent to hanging out at Five Guys when you’re on a diet and have sworn off burgers and fries. Am I right?
Here’s how I envision it:
Woman (who doesn't want to get her hair wet): “I do not want to get my hair wet today. Oh, I know, I think I’ll go to the pool, where there are lots of children splashing around. I will dare anyone to splash me. And, if I get splashed, I will give the child and her parent (who obviously isn’t a good parent since her kid is splashing in the pool) a wicked glance and then complain to the life guard.”
I bet these are the very women who came up with “adult swim.” Let me explain in case you aren’t familiar with the “adult swim” concept. Adult swim is when all children have to get out of the pool and watch the women, who don’t want to get their hair wet, get in the pool and slowly stroll around for 10 minutes. Do you have any clue how long 10-minutes is to a child who is sitting on the side of the pool, chomping at the bit to get back in the water, on a 100-degree humid, southern day? Eternity. That’s how long 10-minutes is. Which leads me to think that women who don’t want to get their hair wet and insist on coming to the pool must have a mean streak that is obviously not provided by their hairdressers.
Another SMH moment that one of my employees recently experienced involved the new fangled, alternative to taxi service. She and her friends called for a ride, and yes, they were informed that the rate was 5.3 times the regular rate. However, a 15-minute haul ended up being over $200. That not only makes me shake my head, but also my wallet to see if there’s any money left. I despise corporations taking advantage of people and acting like money is not hard earned. With the amount of competition today, it is implausible that anyone should gouge their customers to that extent…even if they are drinking. Hello—that’s why your business is successful; otherwise people would just drive themselves home!
One last SMH and this is one that can get you killed. I have had more people pull out in front of me lately, causing me to slam on brakes and barely miss them, only to look in my rearview mirror to see no one behind me. Why can’t people wait until it’s safe to pull out? It’s like they’re in a hurry to die. Don’t they understand if they cause a wreck they will spend way more time dealing with it than waiting for one more car to pass before pulling out? Is it our shrinking attention spans and entitled attitudes that make people think they can just pull out because they have waited long enough? It’s as if people tell themselves, “It doesn’t matter if a car is coming…It’s my turn!” SMH!
Please join me in a campaign to reduce the amount of SMH moments. They are truly making this world all shaken up.