Hissy Fit - April 2019

April 2019 Issue

My mother and I (she’s 88),
were talking on the telephone the other day.
It wasn’t 4-and-a-half minutes until we got each other all riled up.
She was talking about the ways of the world and what a mess we’re all in.
She watches daytime TV, therefore, she knows.
We started talking, and somehow, we managed to take down
politicians, greedy people, “The Bachelor” and Kanye West.
To say the least, as soon as I hung up, I was ready to write this column.
She had me fit to be tied.
Her last question before we got off the phone:
Do you think God thinks they are celebrities?
I said, “Hold that thought. I have to write that down.”
With that, I said goodbye, and opened my laptop.
Before my fingers started spewing on the keyboard, I stopped.
Because it’s Pink’s 15-year birthday,
I decided, to give my rant a month off
in order to relish all the wonderful people Pink
has given me the opportunity to connect with.
Besides, Easter will provide enough chocolate
to help me get through this month without having a Hissy Fit.

• • •

However, I have to impart some inspiration on how to avoid your own hissy fit
this month, since you may not like chocolate.
I also want to make you privy to some topics that are brewing for future Hissy Fits:
Idolizing celebrities; Not respecting the elderly; Mean people; Greed (so ugly);
Flipping people the bird; Things that just make you wonder, “Huh?”; and
People who don’t like chocolate. Huh?
You’re going to be nodding your head YES, and saying hallelujah under your breath.
There’s another topic: Mumbling under your breath and rolling your eyes.
I can’t stand for someone to roll their eyes at me.
I mean, someone needs to say this stuff, right?
But, this month, I just want to say, “Thank You!” from
the bottom of my sometimes disgruntled, but usually happy heart.
Until next month, just kill ‘em with kindness and laughter, and
here are some words to help you not take it all too seriously.

• • •

“Speak when you are angry, and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.” —Laurence J. Peter
“You will not be punished for your anger. You will be punished by your anger.” —Buddah
“When seeking revenge, dig two graves—one for yourself.” —Douglas Horton
“I’m going to start throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up!” —author unknown
The world is a magical place full of people waiting to be offended by something. Don’t be those people.” —author unknown
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you.” —Lewis B. Smedes
“A day without laughter is a day wasted.” —Charlie Chaplin
“She took a deep breath and let it go.” —author unknown
“When all else fails, eat whipped cream straight out of the can!” —Jill Badonsky