What Do You Really Want for Christmas?

What would be the perfect Christmas for you? Do you know?
Hint: It's not about the gifts, the tree, or anything on the surface. It's all about the feeling. What is the feeling you want during the holidays? The excited, hustle-bustle of jingle bells or the calmness and serenity of chestnuts roasting on an open fire?
When was the last time you had a heart-to-heart with yourself, and those you love, about Christmas? Before you get too far along into this holiday season, take a moment-get still, get silent, go within-and ask yourself these thought provoking questions:
What was Christmas like when you were a child? What did you want then? What did you get? What did you not get? What do you want for Christmas now? What holiday vision is currently dancing in your head? What is the feeling you are looking for? What is most important to you?
These are each very powerful questions. I asked a friend some of these questions. In stopping to think deeply about it, she realized that she was ready to change some things that didn't fit her anymore. She decided to talk with her family about it. This inspired me to talk with my family, as well.
My husband and I had a long talk about what Christmas means to us. We both have beautiful Christmas memories. In my childhood home there was maybe "too much" Christmas, and as an adult, I do it differently. I opt for a very quiet, understated holiday. Not a lot of decorations or gifts. Not a lot of socializing and parties.
We talked about the holiday experience we want to have this Christmas. We recommitted that our major focus would be on family and togetherness. We want to be spiritually grounded and remember that this is about the birth of Christ. We want to be quiet, yet joyful.
We want to be givers. However, we just don't want to be giving thoughtlessly and needlessly. We want to give the perfect gift, but what would that be?
The perfect gift would be to give what you most want. Therefore:
If you want love, give love.
If you want acceptance, give acceptance.
If you want understanding, give understanding.
If you want compassion, give compassion.
If you want forgiveness, give forgiveness.
Give good spirit, good intentions, and good will. Give what it is that you really want. This is the perfect kind of gift.
Remember, it is more likely to get what you want if you know what you want. Write in your journal. Take time to talk to someone about your dreams, wishes, and vision for this season. Be deeply thoughtful. Talk aloud with the people you love about what you want and why. Ask them what is important to them. In doing so, you can design the Christmas of your dreams.
Dr. Kathy Murphy leads successful women's retreats for personal growth at beautiful resort/spa destinations throughout the nation. www.kathymurphyphd.com.