Jim & Jenny Breland

It was August, 2006. Outside at the Quarterdeck, life was as easy as the warm summer breeze for a young couple, sipping cocktails and socializing while overlooking the magnificence of Harbour Town. That's where Jim Breland met Jenny Murphy. It wasn't long before love came knocking; in January, 2008, Jim put a ring on Jenny's finger and the two made plans to share forever together.
But the winds began to shift when a third party stepped in-not another woman-but a liquid mistress. As Jim's alcohol use escalated, his relationship with Jenny was on the brink of destruction.

Faced with a choice, Jim knew what he wanted most. "By the grace of God" and with the help of psychotherapist, Dr. Lynette Weist of Effective Solutions, he is now sober.

Jim and Jenny exchanged marriage vows on September 13, 2008, but not before they put up the fight of their life. In an interview with Pink magazine, they describe what they did for love.

Pink: When did drinking become an issue in the relationship?
Jim: It was in the second year. I wanted to get serious. Jenny was ready to be serious, but there were some things I needed to work out.

Pink: Jenny, did you pressure Jim to get help to stop drinking?
Jenny: I began to feel like I needed to. I saw signs of it early on, but I didn't think much of it. We were young, and I had my moments, too.

Pink: Jim, did you think your alcohol use was a problem?
Jim: Before I realized and admitted that I was powerless over my drinking habit, I thought I was totally in control of it. I thought I could handle everything on my own. But each time I tried and failed, the next time was worse.

Pink: So what was the catalyst? What made you seek help?
Jim: I did some soul searching. We were engaged. It was something I was going to have to change in my lifestyle if we were going to get married. [But on the night of Jenny's 23rd birthday party, Jim lost control-again. The morning after brought the realization that he had lost Jenny for good. She gave the ring back.]

Pink: So Jim, how did you react?
Jim: I had an awakening-a moment of clarity. [Jim drove to his parents' house to discuss the problem.] I laid it out on the table and automatically a load was lifted. I really think that God took me to my folks' house just to admit everything that it [alcohol abuse] had done to my life.

Pink: Did you go for counseling alone or together?
Jim: Initially, I saw Dr. Weist alone. When my attitude became more positive and she saw that I was going in the right direction, she brought Jenny in.

Pink: Was counseling with Dr. Weist what you expected it to be?
Jim: I didn't have any expectations when I went in there. I just knew that I needed help if I was going to mend my relationship with Jenny. I wanted her to love me and trust me. I wanted her to be able to lean on me for support. I gave her just the opposite for about a year. All I could see was Jenny. I just wanted her back.

Pink: Jenny, it speaks well for you that you gave Jim the chance to change. What were you feeling at that point?
Jenny: I just wanted the guy I met and fell in love with at the Quarterdeck. I wanted my friend back. You feel so helpless.

Pink: So, Jim, what was your first counseling session like?
Jim: The first time, I was full of emotion. I was exhausted. I had worn myself down, mentally and physically. I was angry, ashamed, disappointed and, at times, I was even terrified. I was letting it all out to her [Dr. Weist]. I had tried to will myself to do it for such a long time, and I had broken so many promises with alcohol, it had really turned me into a pretty good liar. It brought out everything that I wasn't. I became an angry person, because I was holding so many secrets back. I was lying to myself and, of course, I was lying to Jenny. Everything was second to alcohol. Like Dr. Weist said, I was having an affair with alcohol. It was the only thing coming between us. Everything bad that happened in our relationship fed off of my alcohol abuse.

Pink: Jenny, how long did it take for you to see a difference in Jim's behavior?
Jenny: I could immediately tell a difference. After the first couple of sessions, it just opened his eyes.

Pink: What methods did Dr. Weist use to help you?
Jim: She got me hooked up with a recovery book and a prayer group called Celebrate Recovery. Jenny has come to a few of those meetings as well.

Pink: What else have you learned from your sessions with Dr. Weist?
Jim: She really taught me that realizing that you need help is okay. So many people think of the word submission as being weak. But once I submitted to my problem, I found more strength and courage than I could imagine. She really explained things to me and put it in perspective.

Pink: I've seen you working out at Palmetto Athletic Club. Were you into fitness before you got sober?
Jim: I was always into working out. I would take three steps forward, get on a good routine and then get on a binger and take 10 steps back. I was getting weaker and weaker. Just being on a regular routine for the past five to eight months, I've dropped about 30-35 pounds.

Pink: Some people might find it ironic that you own and operate a package store [Breland's Warehouse Liquors]. Does your decision to be sober affect how you conduct your business?
Jim: In my line of business, I'm in a good position to preach responsibility and be a good role model. [Jim offers subtle encouragement via his work attire: a T-shirt that openly proclaims, "Sip Responsibly."]

Pink: How has getting sober affected your social life?
Jim: When you are in recovery, you don't really need to be jumping into a social environment. But right away, I was forced into a social, drinking environment when I probably wasn't ready for it. [Prior to their wedding, Jim and Jenny went to Florida to visit one of the groomsmen-one of Jim's college buddies.]

Pink: Did Dr. Weist give you advice on how to handle it?
Jim: Dr. Weist would always ask if I had anything coming up that would threaten my sobriety. She suggested that I call him and tell him in advance. I told him I had really not been feeling very good and had been drinking too much and that my doctor had told me to take some time off. That was as much as I knew how to say, because I had not been in a social environment with any of these friends without drinking. But she taught me to do that. As soon as I did, I felt better. I knew Jenny was very nervous, and so was I. It was the first test.

Pink: So how did it go?
Jim: Such awkward feelings were coming out. I was able, for the first time, to sit back and observe. There was a point in the evening when everybody was getting pretty lit up. I saw all these people drinking and acting a fool, and I was really happy that I wasn't that way. That's when I started having fun. I had made this commitment to Jenny. I scored a big victory.

Pink: Was the wedding itself a challenging social situation?
Jim: All the work that I had put into recovery and gaining Jenny's trust and love back really set me up for the wedding. I knew that I was going to face all of my friends and family. Over the weekend, I was able to let every family member and friend know. I had lost so much weight, it was easy to respond to that-to explain that I made a decision in my life: "I was about to lose this beautiful woman I'm going to marry tomorrow, and I had to make a lifestyle choice." After that wedding weekend, I've never again had to acknowledge why I don't want to have a drink. Everyone knows who I am. I don't have to explain myself. It has lifted a complete burden off of my back. It's made everything perfect.

Jim and Jenny continue to see Dr. Weist for support and advice. She has not only helped this young couple through their battle against alcohol, but has offered suggestions for dealing with the everyday issues and stresses that all couples face.

"I think counseling is important for anyone," said Jenny. "It helps to talk to someone who can give you some clarity on a situation."

"It's too bad more people can't open up and realize that it's alright to talk to somebody-whatever the problem might be," said Jim. "It's a good thing to do together."

Pink: Jenny, how long did it take for you to see a difference in Jim's behavior?
Jenny: I could immediately tell a difference. After the first couple of sessions, it just opened his eyes.

Pink: What methods did Dr. Weist use to help you?
Jim: She got me hooked up with a recovery book and a prayer group called Celebrate Recovery. Jenny has come to a few of those meetings as well.

Pink: What else have you learned from your sessions with Dr. Weist?
Jim: She really taught me that realizing that you need help is okay. So many people think of the word submission as being weak. But once I submitted to my problem, I found more strength and courage than I could imagine. She really explained things to me and put it in perspective.

Pink: I've seen you working out at Palmetto Athletic Club. Were you into fitness before you got sober?
Jim: I was always into working out. I would take three steps forward, get on a good routine and then get on a binger and take 10 steps back. I was getting weaker and weaker. Just being on a regular routine for the past five to eight months, I've dropped about 30-35 pounds.

Pink: Some people might find it ironic that you own and operate a package store [Breland's Warehouse Liquors]. Does your decision to be sober affect how you conduct your business?
Jim: In my line of business, I'm in a good position to preach responsibility and be a good role model. [Jim offers subtle encouragement via his work attire: a T-shirt that openly proclaims, "Sip Responsibly."]

Pink: How has getting sober affected your social life?
Jim: When you are in recovery, you don't really need to be jumping into a social environment. But right away, I was forced into a social, drinking environment when I probably wasn't ready for it. [Prior to their wedding, Jim and Jenny went to Florida to visit one of the groomsmen-one of Jim's college buddies.]

Pink: Did Dr. Weist give you advice on how to handle it?
Jim: Dr. Weist would always ask if I had anything coming up that would threaten my sobriety. She suggested that I call him and tell him in advance. I told him I had really not been feeling very good and had been drinking too much and that my doctor had told me to take some time off. That was as much as I knew how to say, because I had not been in a social environment with any of these friends without drinking. But she taught me to do that. As soon as I did, I felt better. I knew Jenny was very nervous, and so was I. It was the first test.

Pink: So how did it go?
Jim: Such awkward feelings were coming out. I was able, for the first time, to sit back and observe. There was a point in the evening when everybody was getting pretty lit up. I saw all these people drinking and acting a fool, and I was really happy that I wasn't that way. That's when I started having fun. I had made this commitment to Jenny. I scored a big victory.

Pink: Was the wedding itself a challenging social situation?
Jim: All the work that I had put into recovery and gaining Jenny's trust and love back really set me up for the wedding. I knew that I was going to face all of my friends and family. Over the weekend, I was able to let every family member and friend know. I had lost so much weight, it was easy to respond to that-to explain that I made a decision in my life: "I was about to lose this beautiful woman I'm going to marry tomorrow, and I had to make a lifestyle choice." After that wedding weekend, I've never again had to acknowledge why I don't want to have a drink. Everyone knows who I am. I don't have to explain myself. It has lifted a complete burden off of my back. It's made everything perfect.

Jim and Jenny continue to see Dr. Weist for support and advice. She has not only helped this young couple through their battle against alcohol, but has offered suggestions for dealing with the everyday issues and stresses that all couples face.

"I think counseling is important for anyone," said Jenny. "It helps to talk to someone who can give you some clarity on a situation."
"It's too bad more people can't open up and realize that it's alright to talk to somebody-whatever the problem might be," said Jim. "It's a good thing to do together."