Designing Your Life

We have designer clothes, designer cars, and designer homes, but do you have a designer life? By that, I mean, do you have a life that fits you; that really fits you, as beautifully as a designer dress would? Your one precious life should be given as much loving, thoughtful care and design as a dress, don't you think?

Many of us plan more for vacation than we do our daily lives. You know it's true. Fortunately, that can change. Welcome to the world of Life by Design. It is definitely possible to have the life of your dreams. Not a life you get through a series of defaults, bad choices, or lack of planning, and not even the life that your mother and father wanted for you. This is about living the life that you deserve, the one you are meant to be living, the one that is encoded into your DNA.your most possible life!

To have your most possible life you need to at least be as thoughtful and planned out as you were for your last vacation. Think about it. When you plan for a fabulous vacation, you ask yourself questions about what you want. You research, ponder and decide upon where to go and how to spend your time in order to have the most satisfying experience with your hard earned money and time.

Now, translate that kind of effort to your daily life! As a life design expert, the most essential tools I can recommend is: stop, step back for a moment, take a deep breath (on a regular basis), and ask yourself the important questions of your life! Where do you want to go with your life? How do you want to spend your time? How do you want to feel? There are many important questions to be asked, but it really boils down to the basic three; I call them the powerful questions of life. These are the questions you want to be able to answer automatically. In living your most possible life, it is important to have this information in the forefront of your consciousness and ready to be used in all of your day-to-day and moment-by-moment decisions. The three powerful questions are:

Who am I really?
What do I really want?
Knowing this, how then shall I live?

Could you answer these vitally important questions if I were to ask you right now? Do you know the inner depths and truths about who you are? Do you really understand what's important to you and what would make your life feel the most full and fulfilling? Right this moment, could you answer?
If you can't, that's alright. Consider it critical information for you. You now know you are not ready to design the life of your dreams yet, simply because you don't know what the life of your dreams would even look like. The good news is that getting to that level of consciousness, where you know the answers to these questions, is simply about being willing to do the work-the work of designing your life. I'm here to help you start to ask some very important questions to begin the process.
Let's get started with one. Allow yourself to think about it, ponder on it, dream about it, pray about it, remember, and reconnect. Begin to do the work of your personal growth and exploration. You may even want to get a journal and begin by writing your answer to this important question:

"What would your "designer" life look like?"

Next month, we'll look at hearing your own, wise inner voice to help you answer more important questions towards living the life of your dreams.

Dr. Kathy Murphy is a licensed professional counselor, life coach, teacher, retreat facilitator and author. Her new book, Your Possible Life, offers inspiration and strategies for exploring and building your life. Log onto her website at to check out her weekly blog and get more information about the upcoming Women's Weekend Retreat in Palm Key, SC.

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