The Pink Panel - November 2025

Moderated By Judith Lawrenson

Dear Pink Panel,
I know this is a difficult question, but I need help. When you feel a friendship ending, and we all know that feeling I think, how do you decide if it is worth the effort of reaching out and risking getting hurt, or just letting things play out?
Signed,
Pam


Answers from the Pink Panel

Judith Lawrenson, Moderator: This has happened to me in a couple of ways. In the first case, someone moved away, and we just couldn’t keep it up without actually seeing each other. In the other case, which was a really big deal to me, we moved away and have moved twice since then. My best friend and I have kept up a long distance friendship for more than 35 years! We make plans to see each other as often as we can, but sometimes it is years between visits. We talk on the phone, Facebook, email and send cards in the mail. It has been so worth it. She is like the sister I never had. Everything we do to keep in touch has been more valuable than gold to me. We are each other’s anchor and line in the sand! 

Riley: Since this is the beginning of my freshman year in high school, I find that many of my middle school friends are still my friends, but I am also in classes with many new people. My small group is steady, and we are tight because we have been together since grade school. However, expanding my friend group has been hard since I don’t know who will turn out to be a real friend. Just in case you don’t remember, high school can be pretty tough!

Renee: I have had friendships end or at least fall by the wayside in the past. When it seems a friendship is fading, I think it is important to evaluate the relationship and decide if this friendship is holding in your life. Sometimes when things change, friendships change, too. Also, if a friendship is too hard to maintain, maybe it is time to rethink. How much do you reach out compared to the other person? Sometimes a friendship can just suck the life out of you. Oh, time to move on maybe? My bottom line is that some friendships are just meant to be for the time they are convenient and fit, and others seem to have a life of their own and go on and on no matter what. Don’t forget, sometimes there are “friends” who are not long term, and thankfully, they do not last. 

Caroline: You all know by now that my military family moves often, so I rely on family for the basics. Over the years though, I have made some friendships that have stood the test of time and distance. Honestly, it is not hard to tell who I want to be a lasting part of my life and who is there for the time our circumstances match. What I did have to learn is that it’s a “no hard feelings” kind of thing. Ladies, there is nothing wrong with a friendship that happens in a time and a place or maybe out of necessity or whatever. Know that and don’t try to prolong one of those. If you give it some thought, you will know who is of true value. Voice of experience!

Judith: Lots of different takes on this question. Please do shoot me an email (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. ) if you have a question for PINK. We love emails!

P.S. I am very anxious to hear what Elizabeth has to say about this since she has not moved far from home and family.

The Final Word, Elizabeth Millen: The panel has offered excellent insight into maintaining friendships that are worth maintaining. I believe we all have friendships that have expiration dates, mainly due to current situations. As the situation changes, the people who surround you in that situation usually fade away, and that’s OK. Renee asked the question how often do you reach out in comparison to the friend. This is an important barometer as to whether or not to hold on to the friendship. After college, I was the one who always reached out to my friends, as we all had scattered to different towns and states. One day, I realized I only spoke to them when I called, so I quit calling. Guess what, I’ve never spoken to some of them again. Friendship is a relationship, which means it takes two active sides. If you find you’re the only one investing time and effort, let it go, as their lack of interest is an indication your friend has moved on. You don’t have to be mad or even feel hurt, it’s like Caroline said, some people come into our lives for just a moment in time. We all know who our ride or die friends are, and those are the people who are definitely worth the effort. When something goes wrong there, I say absolutely put in the effort to repair it. But don’t beat your head against the wall. I have a cousin who I was best friends with all my life up until four years ago. Something happened between our children while vacationing at the beach together and our differences in parenting styles tore us apart. It’s a long story, but she was angry with me because I wanted to get to the bottom of what happened. For that, she blamed me for ruining her vacation, and basically, we’ve never spoken since. At first, I was crushed. She was my best friend for 55 years. I tried to repair everything and told her how important she was to me. She wanted nothing to do with me. It has caused a huge rift throughout our entire family. It’s hurtful, but I’ve quit trying. I figure if you don’t need me in your life for a year, not to mention four years, then you don’t need me at all and maybe never did.

Women have great intuition in reading people. Trust your gut, as your heart can sometimes mislead you. You know when a friendship is done, or if you’re not feeling it like you once did. It doesn’t have to be ugly, just simply understand that it came to its natural conclusion…and that’s OK.

If you have a question for The Pink Panel, email Judith Lawrenson at at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. The Pink Panel will do their best to give thought-provoking guidance. Remember, panel members’ ages range from 13 to 80, so you are bound to get a wide variety of advice.

Meet the Panel--------------------------------------------------

- Renee: accounts manager, youth group leader, grandmother. Renee recently started a women’s Bible study on the Book of Genesis, and there was so much
difference of opinion and argument she nearly quit! She stuck with it, made some modifications, and the group not only survived, but it is growing!

- Carolyn: mother of five, homeschooler, pharmacist, military spouse

- Judith Lawrenson: Pink Panel Moderator, freelance writer, volunteer, and educator

- Riley: rising high school freshman, active in sports, studious.  science fair winner

- Elizabeth: publisher of Pink Magazine, business owner, mom, writer, observer of life and human behavior

Would you like advice from The Pink Panel? Email Judith your question at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..