The Pink Panel - February 2025 - NEW!

PinkPanel0225

Moderated By Judith Lawrenson


Dear Pink Panel,
I have a very dear friend who moved away. At first,
we kept in touch almost daily, but as time has gone by we seem to be growing apart. Our friendship is important to both of us, but now that it’s not easy to just meet at the coffee shop or run over to each other’s house, it has started to feel distant. Help!
How can we keep our friendship alive and close regardless of the distance?
Signed,
Michelle


Answers from the Pink Panel

1. Carolyn: We are a military family, so it is our fate to move every two to three years or so. I have learned that friendships take many different forms, and keeping friends takes mutual effort. It is a two way street for sure. My closest friends are from my hometown and from way back, and we really do keep in close touch even though we are far apart. A big part of this is what I call “remembering.” We remember children’s birthdays, our own birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, and even death days. For example, my dad died six years ago, and many of my friends reached out to let me know they were thinking of me. Social media also works for us. We post family pictures, good times, and for Christmas this year, we posted one of those pajama pictures of all seven of us. It was a hoot! Anyway, it all comes back to the fact that it takes an effort on both parts. If you care, you “remember”, and so will they!

2. Riley: “I don’t have a friend who has moved away, but to keep in touch with my close friends, I prefer to use the messaging app on my iPhone to text. I call sometimes when I have time and more to say. We like to Facetime, too. I do not use social media but some of my friends do, and I think that Snapchat is the number one choice. It is a popular form of communication for kids of my age.”

3. Renee: Although I have never had a friend who has moved far away, parts of my family have become spread out. As such, I have become a great letter writer, and I love to receive responses! These letters can become mementos you can pull out and read whenever you’re missing your friend. I treasure every letter my son wrote me from boot camp when he was in the U.S. Marines.

I also have a few local girlfriends with whom I exchange happy and fun snail-mail cards. This is a wonderful, personal way to stay in touch, prompt a response, and bring a smile. I also text frequently with a former co-worker who lives several hours away. But we still call occasionally just to really catch up and hear each other’s voices. It’s important to find what works for both of you. Don’t expect long, handwritten notes every time. Discuss what works for both of you, and proceed accordingly. The important part is staying connected.

4. Moderator Judith: This question has opened my eyes to how technology plays a huge role in communicating and connecting for all ages—even us older folks. The Pink Panel ranges in ages from14 to 80, and each of us regularly use various modern methods of communication. The good old landline is still around, but look out, grannies are not only texting their grandchildren and friends, but they are also sending pictures and memes, too!

As my coffee group was discussing this month’s question, one of the members said her childhood friend from grade school moved far away after she married. Since they are both teachers with similar times off, they travel to see each other nearly every year. They also sometimes “meet in the middle” for a girls’ weekend. This works well for them, and their friendship has never wavered. Travel is a unique way to keep in touch, but it works well for them.

5. The Final Word by Elizabeth: Close friendships are hard to come by, so putting in the effort to stay in touch is important. However, effort has to come from both sides. After college, I called my friends often, and we would laugh and enjoy catching up with each other. As time went by, I noticed I was the only one calling, so I eventually stopped, too, because I realized our lives were growing apart. We didn’t have a lot in common anymore. But thankfully, not all friendships fizzle out. Staying in touch is easier and more fun than ever! We now have a gazillion ways to say “Hi,” and some of those don’t even take 10 seconds. I will shoot someone a quick text just to let them know I’m thinking of them, or to ask how something went. But I will also sit down and write a full-fledged letter (mainly because I’m addicted to beautiful stationery).

However, I think the solution to maintaining a long-distance friendship boils down to a few simple things:

1. Discuss the importance of your friendship with each other and make a plan to stay in touch. The plan may be establishing a regular time for weekly or monthly phone conversations. By having a set time, each person is respectful of the other’s scheduled, possibly frenzied daily grind. One of my good friends and I talk about every two weeks while she’s in carpool line, and it works for us. My children are grown; I understand.

2. A friendship cannot survive on texts, photos or memes alone. There has to be real connection along the way. If a friend starts texting me an issue she’s dealing with or something long and drawn out, I just ask when I can call her. Blips of communication are meant for blips. But when one of you truly needs a friend, it’s super important to show up, whether it be talk, FaceTime, or in person. Voice inflection and tone are imperative when it comes to being there for a friend.

3. Lastly, always remember special occasions! Be sure to make them feel celebratory, especially since you can’t be there in person. These occasions call for more than a text, and whatever you do, be sure it’s on time. 


Meet the Panel--------------------------------------------------

- Renee: accounts manager, youth group leader, grandmother (She said to mention she is a young grandmother!)

- Carolyn: mother of five, homeschooler, pharmacist, military spouse

- Judith Lawrenson: Pink Panel Moderator, freelance writer, volunteer, and educator

- Riley: middle school student, active in sports, studious 

- Elizabeth: publisher of Pink Magazine, business owner, mom, writer, observer of life and human behavior

Would you like advice from The Pink Panel? Email Judith your question at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..

Leave a comment

You are commenting as guest.