The Pink Panel - April 2026
Moderated By Judith Lawrenson
Dear Pink Panel,
Through a series of circumstances, I have become a caregiver, a role I certainly never anticipated. I have been doing this for about three months now, and I find that while I feel I’m getting more comfortable, I struggle to get through more than the one-day-at-a-time duties. Any of your readers involved in caregiving situations? I am very open to and in need of advice.
Signed,
Naomi
Answers from the Pink Panel
Judith Lawrenson, Moderator:
I am so taken with this question that I have changed our format to allow for greater participation. I know several women who have been in this role either like my friend, Naomi, through unforeseen circumstances or by choice as a family member or loved one. My family and I cared for my father through five months of pancreatic cancer with the help of Hospice until his death, and I know experiences like these can be lifechanging.
I am blessed to belong to a group of girlfriends who call ourselves the “Feisty Grannies,” and all of us has had an experience in the caregiver role. Renee, who is a regular panel member, is currently caring for both her mother and mother-in-law, both are in pretty good health and able to be in their own homes but neither drive. Renee has local extended family on both sides, so she has worked out ways to share the load. This group care setting has worked for a long time, and when needed, Renee always seems to have back up. She calls it her “care giving committee.”
Sue is now free of her role as caregiver, but she saw both her husband and son through battles with cancer. Both have passed, and she is on her own with a small family locally. She has learned to rely on friends. I am one of her friends gladly help and/or just show up anytime I’m needed.
One of our other members has seen her husband through a cancer battle and grandchild through a lengthy illness. Both have recovered, and both have been able to continue with their lives.
Fran was a caregiver for her mother for several years with very little help. She told me a funny thing that I have also heard from other caregivers: “One of the hardest things about my mother passing away, was I had to look for things to do each day.” She had been so used to looking after her mom, she forgot how to look after herself!
Our youngest panel member, Riley, who is a freshman in high school, is in a unique situation, too. Her family, including her grandmother, care for her grandfather. They all live in the same house and frequently do things together when he is able. Riley recently won not only her school science fair but the district and then on to the regional. Her grandpa felt well enough on her final day to be present for her big moment. He often needs medical procedures, and the family calls in a nurse for those, which works well for them.
I have seen my husband through corneal transplants, knee replacements, a hip replacement and a heart attack. My advice, and I mean my strong advice, is to reach out. There are huge resources available, many of them free, to help you. If you don’t have family or friends nearby, check out a hospital or hospice facility near you, ask your doctor, or do an online search for a person or resource nearby that to tap for help.
Also find what is available through the government. Medicare or a variety of other options are there if you are willing to look for them and perhaps fill out some paper work.
Elizabeth, what do you have to say about this? Pink’s Copy Editor, Meredith Deal, is in the midst of being a full-time caregiver for her mother. In 2023, she and her husband moved her mother into their St. Simons Island home. So, Meredith has the final word on this one:
The Final Word, Meredith Deal: Caregiving is a growing part of the American family dynamic—many people are living in multi-generational settings with aging loved ones.
One of the best things I do each week is get Mom out to see her peers. She loved going to church, so we found one that offers an adult day care program. They provide camaraderie and fun in a stimulating environment. She’s happy, and I have a four-hour break. Church volunteers lead hymns, help do crafts, play bingo, compete in seated balloon volleyball games, and have a fun lunch.
At home, I recommend creating a big 3-ring notebook binder of family photos, especially of your loved one as a toddler, in school, and in their careers. Reminiscing with these big binders can spark stories, while giving a feeling of accomplishment and pride.
Also, an MD or nurse practitioner who has a heart for the elderly is very beneficial for both of you. I suggest bringing a question list regarding your loved one’s medicines and care to each medical visit.
If affordable, hiring a companion for a few hours each week can get you out of the house doing things for yourself. Go read a book in the park, shop, go for a peaceful walk, dine out with friends, take a mini-field trip. The laundry, grocery shopping, meal prep, dishes, housework, and errands can wait.
Most important, if you feel squeezed, frustrated, lost, angry, impatient, or feel sad about your favorite things seem to be out of reach, talk to someone—a friend, your pastor or a counselor—there is help. And don’t hesitate to ask family members to step up—even if they don’t live nearby. You deserve to get away, so let them serve as caregivers for a weekend, a week, or more. When you take care of yourself, you’ll be happier in taking care of your loved one. Thanks, Naomi!
Meet This Month's Panel-----------------------------------
- Judith Lawrenson: Pink Panel Moderator, freelance writer, volunteer, and educator
- Elizabeth: publisher of Pink Magazine, business owner, mom, writer, observer of life and human behavior
- Meredith Deal: copy editor of Pink Magazine, loyal friend, Rotarian, and caregiver to an aging mom
If you have a question for The Pink Panel, email Judith Lawrenson at at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. The Pink Panel will do their best to give thought-provoking guidance. Remember, panel members’ ages range from 13 to 80, so you are bound to get a wide variety of advice.