The Pink Panel - April 2025 - NEW!
Moderated By Judith Lawrenson
Dear Pink Panel,
Help! I’ve been dumped three times in the last three weeks.
First, my long-time boyfriend said we need to see other people because we have grown apart. We all know what that means, right? Next a co-worker stopped speaking to me.
And my former mother-in-law, who used to be semi-friendly, started gaslighting me.
I am at a loss. Can the panel give me a hint as to a good course of action?
Signed, Alice A.
Answers from the Pink Panel
Judith Lawrenson, Moderator: This is such a unique question, the panel decided to meet in roundtable fashion and talk it out. Surprisingly, we all had a similar take.The general consensus focused not so much on what had happened to Alice, but why all of these things seemed to converge. We all wondered the same two things:
1. What, if anything, had she done to bring all of this out against her. Maybe, unknowingly, she had said or done something that made people close to her feel she somehow wronged them. Had she said something that had been misinterpreted or even been caught in some gossip?
2. We thought perhaps there was an overreaction. Maybe the co-worker had some problems of her own, was simply in a bad mood, and it had nothing to do with Alice. Maybe the boyfriend was suggesting seeing other people because he thought she was the one losing interest in the relationship. Perhaps even the former mother-in-law had been out of town or had not checked her social media because she was busy. All kinds of scenarios could have happened.
Renee: I had a relative stop calling, and it turned out she had a sick child.
Riley: I had one of those “girl” things happen over a guy,
and it turned out to be nothing.
Carolyn: One of my children was asked to leave her team over
an incident that never actually happened.
Judith: I have had a long-time estrangement from my brother that should have been settled years ago. I think we all have something, don’t we?
So, we agreed on the best course of action, albeit not the easiest way. (The easy way is to ignore it and move on.) The best way to deal with these situations is to actually deal with it. Ask! Simply ask your co-worker what is the problem. Did someone say you stole her yogurt out of the break room fridge? Did you say something she took the wrong way? Did someone else in the office say something behind your back? Just ask. Same with the boyfriend and mother-in-law—just come out and ask. Somehow it does not seem fair this should be on you, Alice, but if you want to do assuage your feelings, this is the only way. If you find out it wasn’t about you, all good. If you have some fences to mend, better to know that, too. You won’t be happy until you find out, and this is the word from The Pink Panel.
The Final Word, Elizabeth Millen: Alice, I don’t know details of your three situations well enough to offer specific advice. However, I know one thing for sure: There are two sides to every story. My inclination is to take off any “poor-pitiful-me” glasses you may have on and honestly decipher the situations with each person. Had your relationship with your boyfriend grown apart? Was he the one brave enough to bring it up and do something about it, even though you both knew the relationship was waning? Is your concern that people are dropping you like flies, or actually losing these people?
If these people are important to you, I recommend getting real about your role in the splits. Breakups, the silent treatment, etc. normally don’t come out of nowhere. I have a feeling you know exactly what your part in each of these situations is, and you simply don’t want to take accountability for your actions.
If you are sincerely interested in saving these relationships, The Pink Panel has given you the best advice—ask what is wrong! This is the only way to find out what’s up, if you hurt someone’s feelings, or what your behavior had to do with it. From there, you will be able to talk it out if the relationship is salvageable, and move forward. More often than not, once disagreements get aired out, relationships tend to get even stronger. (I can’t guarantee this with your boyfriend, though. Romantic breakups are different. But perhaps you can at least understand his viewpoint, learn from it, and make your next relationship better.)
However, don’t chalk your situation up to Mercury being in retrograde, bad luck, or you’re just around terrible people. Dig deep into your soul, claim your wrongdoings, and proceed with all good intentions.
Lastly, maybe you are hanging on to weak relationships that no longer serve you or the other person. Remember, some people come into our lives for a moment, some for a phase, some for a lifetime. And, that’s just the way it is.
If you have a question for The Pink Panel, email Judith Lawrenson at at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. The Pink Panel will do their best to give thought-provoking guidance. Remember, panel members’ ages range from 13 to 80, so you are bound to get a wide variety of advice.
Meet the Panel--------------------------------------------------
- Renee: accounts manager, youth group leader, grandmother. Renee recently started a women’s Bible study on the Book of Genesis, and there was so much
difference of opinion and argument she nearly quit! She stuck with it, made some modifications, and the group not only survived, but it is growing!
- Carolyn: mother of five, homeschooler, pharmacist, military spouse
- Judith Lawrenson: Pink Panel Moderator, freelance writer, volunteer, and educator
- Riley: middle school student, active in sports, studious. Riley won First Place Overall in the
Science Fair at her school last month!
- Elizabeth: publisher of Pink Magazine, business owner, mom, writer, observer of life and human behavior
Would you like advice from The Pink Panel? Email Judith your question at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..