Audre Allison

Gleefully guided by her keen curiosity and uninhibited sense of adventure, find 77-year-old Audre Allison exploring the world around her like a child on a romp through the woods. "You think retirement is the last part, but then it begins to feel like the second part. Things begin to catch up with you that you meant to do, that you wanted to do, but didn't have time to discover," she said.

In the story of her life, Audre plays many roles, not the least of which is leading lady opposite world-renowned jazz musician, Mose Allison, and mother of their four children. Her conversation reveals an intellectual brilliance that could intimidate except that it is wrapped in a warm blanket of sincerity, compassion and humor. To know her is to discover a multi-faceted, sparkling gem, undefined by any one particular element other than the genuine joy she takes in living.

Dividing her time between homes on Long Island, NY and Hilton Head Island, SC, a typical day might include a museum visit, a night at the symphony, a day digging in her garden or traversing some unbeaten path to a quaint restaurant or obscure shop. Whether engrossed in a novel, taking a class, discussing politics, traveling or practicing qigong, Audre's mind is an open window, inviting fresh ideas and new experiences like a spring breeze.

"It's important to keep learning, because it makes you understand what it is to be alive," she said. "You spend a huge hunk of your life on the giving end. Then when you get older, receiving is wonderful. You feel like it's a treat-it's a party.

On the Way to the Ball
All of life is not a party and the road hasn't always been smooth, but Audre chose to embrace the bumps for the thrill of the ride. Meeting on college break at a lake in the Missouri Ozarks where Mose was performing in a band, after a two-and-a-half year long-distance courtship (mostly conducted through letters), Audre married at age 20, giving up her college career to take a chance on love. Working so that her husband could finish school and pursue his dream of becoming a professional musician, she described their freewheeling life before children. "When he graduated, we traveled a lot. He would go to where a jazz band was and ask if he could sit in. I'd get a job. Then we would move on," Audre said.

In Denver when their first child, Alyssa, was born, the Allisons were at a crossroads. "That's when Mose said, 'I either have to sell shoes or go to New York to see if I can make it,'" Audre recalled. Stopping in Florida, he got a job playing piano while she worked as a waitress, saving $800 between them to continue their journey.

Arriving in the big city in 1956, Audre landed a job at an advertising agency. "Soon I was writing copy for things like potato peelers," she said. "I felt like a million dollars. I had my bouffant hairdo and my high heels, in Manhattan, taking taxis to work every day, and he [Mose] took care of Alyssa." But her nine-to-five days were numbered. "When you got pregnant in those days, you had to quit your job," she explained. When second daughter, Amy was born, with twins John and Janine to follow a year later, Audre was up to her neck in diapers.

"They were so close together, there was no time to think about me. As soon as they all went to bed, I fell asleep. A lot of it was fun, though," Audre reflected.

But as her husband's career reached new heights and the children grew up, struggling to define herself outside of her role as wife and mother, she began to contemplate a change. The catalyst came one morning when her youngest daughter, Janine, couldn't find her navy blue knee socks.
"I was in the kitchen thinking to myself, 'I don't even know where the socks are. I'm failing laundry,'" said Audre. "That was it." With her children in junior high, she returned to college, eyes focused on a future career in law. A Phi Beta Kappa honor graduate, she completed her degree in English at Stony Brook University.

A New Direction
Before she could enroll in law school, Audre's supervisor approached her to teach-a detour that would turn out to be her true path: sharing her lifelong passion for writing. Starting a peer-writing center, she developed a participatory style of teaching wherein students worked in groups, mutually encouraging one another, while she functioned as friendly facilitator and fellow participant, guiding them through the writing process.
She taught based on what she knew about writing from her own experience. "I always thought of writing as a friend. If I was troubled by anything or wondering about things, I liked to write. But I'm a private writer. It was really for personal satisfaction," said Audre.

"I always felt like I was a crazy person who wasted sheets and sheets of paper and changed my mind. I never wanted anyone to know," she continued. "It turned out that everybody was sort of like that when looking for what they wanted to say. It was freeing, so I decided I was going to do that in my classroom."

Training students to respond to other people's writing, she said, "I always gave kids responsibilities for teaching one another. It put them in charge, and it worked." Weekly vocabulary, grammar and spelling lessons were included, of course. "But I didn't want them to think it was the meat of the writing," said Audre. As she encouraged students to search for their own meaning, she often quoted E. M. Forster: "How do I know what I think until I see what I have to say?"

When the new Shoreham-Wading River High School was built, Audre employed the same methods, teaching writing classes in the 11th and 12th grades. Although the school was public, it was in an affluent area where educational funding was a priority. "Whatever plans I made, they made sure it happened," said Audre. "It was a very supportive school. a great place to teach."

The "Write" Stuff
In 1981, Audre was one of six educators chosen to be part of a research project that resulted in the book, Through Teachers' Eyes, by Sondra Perl and Nancy Wilson. Nancy spent two years in Audre's 11th-grade classroom. "I made her participate," said Audre. "It was wonderful, because she was a really nice person who loved writing."

Audre and Nancy later partnered to present workshops all over the country, taking students with them whenever possible. They also had the privilege of working with Howard Gardner, known for his theory of multiple intelligences.

Looking back on her 20-year teaching career, Audre is neither pretentious nor boastful. As she opens up, she shares a more private side, including past and present insecurities and her work to overcome them.

"Skinny-malinky long legs: big banana feet," she said, describing early feelings of inadequacy and awkward teenage years. Then there were the times when the children took all the big, important questions to "Dad," the social situations where she felt out of place, as if she had nothing important to contribute to the conversation, and the "laundry crisis."

Never one to stand in her husband's shadow or bask in his light, of her reinvented life she said, "I think it was just essential. I wasn't him [Mose]. I wanted to be someone myself. It's not as if he were out there seeking publicity. He was my husband and I had my job to do and he had his job to do. I could always count on him. And I loved that he loved what he was doing."

Admitting that today's challenges include learning to deal with senior moments and sagging skin, Audre said, "For a while, when you see yourself aging, you feel, 'shame on you.' But I'm getting more comfortable with my wrinkles and crepe-y, drape-y stuff. I'm going to keep thinking about what a good life I've had, how much I treasure my friends and how wonderful my children are and just be thankful." Counting herself lucky to greet each day, she says she doesn't have a "bucket list."

"I always am trying to accept old age and even accept that death is ahead of us. I don't think it should be so dreaded," she said. "I'm going to make use of whatever it is, but you never know what tomorrow holds."

And so the joyride continues. "Autonomous-I like that word," said Audre. "That's what everybody should be doing. I'm looking for things that really please me-not in a selfish way. It's so much fun to find out who you are and what you like."


Up Close

Hometown: St. Louis Family: husband, Mose; children, Alyssa, Amy and twins, John and Janine; grandchildren, Kayley, age 25 and Olivia, age nine Describes herself as: compassionate, creative and hopeful She credits her children for: preparing her to teach Describes them today as: "really wonderful people with interesting lives." She fell in love with Mose because: "When I first met him, I wrote in my diary that I would love to be like him. I could tell that he was someone who generated his own joy." Character trait she values: a sense of humor. "Laughter is really important to get you through life." Advice to live by: "Be kind, loving, tolerant and honest... be brave and courageous in standing up, after deep contemplation, for what you find you believe in. And as Polonius advises his son Laertes in Shakespeare's Hamlet, 'This above all: to thine own self be true.' Do all of this and, I believe, (in Walt Whitman's words). 'your very flesh shall be a great poem.'"