Single File - February 2024

Singleness as an Adventure


"Single File" - February 2024 Issue
by Susan Deitz

It's true that being single isn't all fun and dream dates;
on-your-own-ness can feel downright lonely.

(And my reminder that marrieds also have their down times doesn't always break the mood.) Single life may have become the majority lifestyle here in America, but that fact doesn't help when you're trudging to the corner coffee shop for Saturday brunch. Alone. Believe me, I know. Which is why I'm suggesting my one-word cure for the blues: adventure.

Consider today's column a pep talk to see the diamond in each day, the opportunity embedded in your waking hours, the goodness waiting for you. Agreed, it takes imagination and a tuned-in you to recognize it, but think of the payoff! You'll have a more interesting life and many more chances to be at your best. Look at it this way: What would you say to an unexpected gift, something coming out of the blue without a price tag? What would you say to an open-ended series of opportunities arriving gift-wrapped?

You probably guessed it: The gift is your life. If you saw it as it is, a customized present with no strings attached, I'm pretty sure you'd roar with delight and grab it without asking questions. Well, why don't you? What's keeping you from enjoying every minute of every day? Could it be your singleness? That's a pretty lame excuse, friend. I'm well aware that too many in singleworld are living halfheartedly, acknowledging each sunrise but not seeing its promise. They get by all right, I guess, but totally miss out on the best part of being unmarried—its adventure.

That's what I want for you. The deeper I burrow into life, the surer I am that a sense of adventure elevates life beyond its fundamentals. It was my own odyssey through young widowhood as a single parent that turned me on to life's potential. As I watched others sweep away the rubble of their past and move on to create their own futures, I realized that people who build the most happiness into their lives have a strong sense of purpose and genuine curiosity to know more.

Being unpartnered, you're in a great position to make each day what you want it to be. You're mobile, unaccountable—in charge of your time, your energy, your finances. You're chairman of the board of your family. Single life comes with plenty of rough patches. (Ask me about it.) But in time, after you've built a pretty nice life for yourself and your loved ones—a life built from your choices—you'll see the adventure in life's opportunities. I wish it to you.

Have a question for Susan?
You can reach her directly at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Catapulted into single life as a young widow and single parent, Susan Deitz’s unusually deep understanding of her new world was about to be born, a course in undependence (her term for the wholeness needed for a full life) unlike any she had known at Smith College. Totally unprepared for life without a mate, her nights were battles with fear and the dreaded what-ifs. But when those tigers retreated, each new dawn found a more confident woman. On her own, living out her singleness, she was using her own judgment to make decisions for her little family—minor perhaps in the wider world but crucial for her small family. And they proved to be good ones. From those years of life lessons learned the hard way came a lifework and the world of Single File. Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. © 2023 CREATORS

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