He Said, She Said - New!
He Said, She Said - October 2020 Issue
Photography by Christian Lee
Dr. Ardra Davis-Tolbert
& Dr. Claude Tolbert
Married: 24 years
Children: Two, ages 20 and 17
Dr. Ardra: Macon, GA
Dr. Claude: Greenwood, SC
Dr. Ardra: Physician, specialty Obstetrician/Gynecologist
Dr. Claude: Physician, specialty Obstetrician/Gynecologist
Have delivered approximately how many babies:
Dr. Ardra: Around 2,000
Dr. Claude: Somewhere between 700 and 1,000
Glad to be in the Lowcountry because…
Dr. Ardra: The beauty and peace of this place makes any hard day a good day!
Dr. Claude: Because of my love for the coast.
Favorite activity with your children:
Dr. Ardra: Spending time with my children. I do not have to do anything in particular; just glad to have quality time to do whatever.
Dr. Claude: Having a dialogue about their opinions on current events
and debating our different views on those topics.
What do you wish could change for your children:
Dr. Ardra: The heavy influence and pressures of social media
Dr. Claude: That they could live in a world where they would never
experience racism or prejudices—a world that values all mankind.
Your best parenting moment ever:
Dr. Ardra: Giving birth to our children—anxiously anticipating
the moment I could see them.
Dr. Claude: The support and encouragement I give to my kids
and constantly reminding them their potential is limitless!
Your biggest parenting blunder yet:
Dr. Ardra: Not realizing my daughter had a broken arm for two days.
I thought it was just a sprain; she will not let me live this one down!
Dr. Claude: Those moments when I fail to consider their argument because,
of course, I am right! Just to realize that my point of view was wrong.
Your advice for new moms and dads:
Dr. Ardra: Listen more; talk less. Never let them see, or feel, the shock of some conversations you may have with them. If they see it, or feel it, they will shut down on you.
Dr. Claude: You will make mistakes and will never be the perfect parent
for your child/children. Your love for them is what is perfect!
I find balance in my daily grind by…
Dr. Ardra: Listening to music, exercising (a little!),
reconnecting with family and friends.
Dr. Claude: Walking, riding my bike and listening to music.
When I get stressed out, I just __________ to settle down.
Dr. Ardra: Talk it out (usually with my husband), rest, watch TV, read a good book
Dr. Claude: Talk things over with my wife, which often gives me a different perspective of my issues
My healthiest habits are…
Dr. Ardra: I respond poorly to stress, so my habits aren’t great. I love ice cream but I try to stick with sugar-free or keto. I exercise because I know I have to! I try to get at least 5 hours of sleep a night, but I would love to have eight.
Dr. Claude: Regular exercise.
I believe the 3 musts for wellbeing is:
Dr. Ardra: Good communication, feeling loved and giving back however you can.
Dr. Claude: Life centered around my faith in God, love for family and love for self.
Sometimes I have to splurge and when I do, I…
Dr. Ardra: Shop, shop, shop! And eat ice cream.
Dr. Claude: It is almost always a warm brownie or lava cake
with vanilla ice cream on top!
The upside to working together is…
Dr. Ardra: Totally understanding each other’s schedules. Understanding when dinner is missed based on work commitments. Having someone to bounce medical questions off of 24/7.
Dr. Claude: Constantly having a colleague to have intellectual exchanges about different clinical scenarios.
The downside to working together is…
Dr. Ardra: Finding quality time together. In the past, we have always struggled to create a “normal” life for our children. As they have gotten older, it is easier. They still complain, but it is easier to manage.
Dr. Claude: My wife and I have worked together for 24 years, and I can honestly say there has never been a downside with this aspect of our relationship.
The most difficult part of becoming a doctor was…
Dr. Ardra: When you love what you do, there are challenges, but I never considered them too hard.
Dr. Claude: The most difficult part of becoming a doctor was simply having the confidence that it was something I was capable of achieving.
If I had to choose a different career, I would be a:
Dr. Ardra: Teacher
Dr. Claude: I cannot imagine any other career. I decided at age 13 I wanted to be a physician, and that’s the only career that maintains my interest.
When I look at my spouse, I can’t help but think:
Dr. Ardra: Boy, I love this man!
Dr. Claude: I am looking at my proverbial cup-is-half-full. She is my optimism.
My perfect day off is spent doing…
Dr. Ardra: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!
Dr. Claude: Spending my day lounging at home with the remote in my right hand.
My spouses superpower is____________, and I love it:
Dr. Ardra: Cooking! He is an amazing cook.
Dr. Claude: Her calming demeanor
The first time I laid eyes on him/her, I…
Dr. Ardra: Was in sign language class with him (in college)
and fell in love with is stature. I later fell in love with his mind.
Dr. Claude: I knew she was the piece needed to complete my puzzle.
I try to keep our romance alive by…
Dr. Ardra: Spending quality time together; totally letting go of all responsibilities.
Dr. Claude: Communicating and spending time together.