Away With Divisiveness, Anger & Fear
Let It All Go & Replace It With Cheer

by Elizabeth Skenes Millen

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,
Everyone was angry, even the mouse.

The tempers had flared, it seemed nobody cared
The TV shows told us there’s no hope, no prayer.

The children were alone all glued to their phones,
Which stole Christmas spirit, the cheer and the tone.

The world is worrying about Ukraine, Russia, Israel, Hamas, school shootings and crooked politicians, and the deep, relentless anxiety plays havoc with our imagination.

What if you're sipping a coffee at an outdoor cafe and terrorists start firing machine guns at your table?

What if you're on a plane that explodes in midair because a maniac snuck a bomb into the baggage hold?

What if a suicidal jihadist decides to blow up your kid's school?

Uncontrolled, even irrational, anxiety is a giant obstacle to personal happiness. Worry causes stress, and stress saps our energy, disturbs our sleep, and destroys the calm and peaceful state we seek.

In the Northern Hemisphere, the longest night of the year falls on December 21. Since the Fall Equinox on September 23, nights have steadily gotten longer each day. After December 21, they will begin to get shorter again. The Winter Solstice, which in Latin means “Sun standing still,” occurs on this day, as well, at exactly 10:27 p.m. EST this year.

In the Christian church, December 21 is a day during Advent that is observed as a time of remembrance, comfort, and especially hope, during the dark days of winter. It is sometimes called “Blue Christmas,” but after Elvis’ song, most churches switched to Longest or Darkest Night.

Food is the foundation for connection. The enjoyment of spending time around a table with family and friends is as old as time. It’s just a simple truth—life is better with good food. And behind much of the good food we enjoy here in the Lowcountry is someone who has a passion to please others through the hospitality and love of life’s favorite social pastime—sharing a meal with lovd ones.

My tail feathers got all twisted when I read that the average American gains 27 pounds between Thanksgiving Day and New Year's Eve.

OK, I'm pulling your leg. The statistic is more like 4 to 7 pounds, but even that's depressin—enough extra poundage to make your jeans feel like a blood-pressure cuff.

Take heart! It doesn't have to be that way. We humans have choices. Dogs, cats and children pretty much have to eat whatever's piled in front of them, but we grown-ups are free to choose, free to make small meaningful changes in our life that lessen our risk of obesity and boost our well-being.

Of course, the holidays are known for filling our homes and hearts with family, food and fun. But the whirlwind months of November and December are also known for being a particularly stressful time of the year for many people—with seemingly endless holiday “to-do” lists running through our minds as we head into what we hope will be the most wonderful time of the year.

There are a number of ways to try to minimize holiday stress, including making sure to plan ahead and to take shortcuts when you can. But perhaps the best way to reduce stress during the holidays is by taking some important time for yourself in a calming environment geared to help you relax, rejuvenate, and recharge your mind, body, and spirit.

The South is known for its friendliness and hospitality. Etiquette lessons are taught at a very early age and continue through young adulthood, typically by the matriarchs of the family or even more formal finishing schools or programs. Southerners value faith, family, and community above all else. Gentility, hospitality, courtesy, and good manners are central to a Southerner’s identity and mainstays of the traditional culture. Good etiquette promotes kindness, consideration, and humility. It also makes people feel welcome and comfortable.

Southerners maintain a reputation for not tolerating poor behavior from others, especially children, therefore, when living in the South, good manners are a must. Here are some easy, everyday etiquette rules that make the world a little more pleasant:

Margaret Pearman grew up in the family restaurant business but pursued a college degree in Italian Language. She studied some art in college and has regretted not pursuing it further. “The high school art scene was tough and highly critical, that’s probably why I shied away from it,” said Margaret. After college, Margaret returned to the Lowcountry and became a wine representative. Soon, the 2008 financial crisis loomed, and Margaret decided to move back in with her parents. During the recession, she worked at Rollers Wine and Spirits when the restaurant wasn’t as busy. “Wine was a way to live an international life,” said Margaret, “but the cards didn’t play out that way.” Margaret’s mom, Nancy Golson, suggested she start painting again, and it soon became a daily practice. After growing up in the shadow of her parents’ iconic Hilton Head restaurant, Charlie’s L’Etoile Verte, painting gave Margaret her own sense of identity. Margaret’s mother owned Eggs ‘n’ Tricities, a gift shop in Bluffton, and sold her daughter’s artwork there.

The Hilton Head Dance Theatre’s annual production of “The Nutcracker” kicks off each year’s holiday season. With its colorful costumes, dreamlike score, and memorable roles, “The Nutcracker” ballet is a Christmas classic. Founded in 1986, this year will be Hilton Head Dance Theatre’s 37th annual production of the ballet. This fantastic tale about a girl who befriends a nutcracker that comes to life on Christmas Eve and wages a battle against the evil Mouse King has been delighting audiences for more than 125 years. And for many youngsters, it is their first introduction to the world of classical music and ballet.

When it comes to choosing, beautifying and maintaining your home,
women are the decision makers.
So, why not team up with a woman to bring your vision to fruition?
Our Home Girls of the Lowcountry highlights some of the leading ladies in the home industry. From finding the perfect home to creating killer kitchens—
both inside and out—these women in the home industry are making strides
in a male-dominated world, and we're here for it!

What’s your favorite thing about being a “Home Girl” of the Lowcountry?
Being outdoors most of the year! Either gardening, grilling/backyard partying, or boating, nothing beats being able to go to the beach in February and enjoy the glorious sunshine we have most of the year.

My favorite thing about being a “Home Girl” of the Lowcountry:
I enjoy listening to my clients’ needs and sharing information about what’s available here in the Lowcountry. It’s rewarding to help them chart their path and find exactly what they are looking for.

How did you find your passion in real estate?
My career started in the hospitality industry where we strived for 4- and 5-Star service. When my hospitality clients expressed interest in buying in the Lowcountry, I transitioned into real estate. My 5-Star mentality drives me as a Realtor®. I always go above and beyond for my clients.

What’s your favorite thing about being a “Home Girl” of the Lowcountry?
I love the cultural authenticity of the South. The Lowcountry has its own design characteristics, and I love helping people achieve their own look, whether it be relaxed Lowcountry, bright coastal or modern city. Helping clients find joy and peace in the ambiance of their home brings me great pleasure.

The Plant-it-Pink Garden, located across from the main hospital entrance at Hilton Head Regional Healthcare, was established in 2010 by a team of volunteers from The Avid Gardeners Club of Hilton Head Plantation. These gardeners had a mission of bringing year-round breast cancer awareness to the community.

Hopeful Horizons is the local children’s advocacy, domestic violence, and rape crisis center. They strive to create safer communities by changing the culture of violence and offering a pathway for healing. Hopeful Horizons is celebrating 40 years of making a difference this year.

From their humble beginnings in 1983, the organization has evolved and expanded through mergers between the Rape Crisis Center (later called Hope Haven), The Children’s Advocacy Task Force and Citizens Opposed to Domestic Abuse (CODA), and the Children’ Advocacy Program. Hopeful Horizons' CEO Kristin Dubrowski has worked in the victim service field since 1999 and has served the organization for 19 years. Kristin said, “There is a strong, unified organizational culture, and we use a holistic approach in serving our clients.”

Trick or treat? We choose treat! This Halloween, Wilton has everything you need for a spooktacular celebration. One of the best-known decorating and bakeware companies in the U.S., Wilton has everything from cookie cutters to devilishly delectable decorations. Not to mention ghoulishly great recipes. Visit wilton.com for more fun fare, and sprinkle a little spooky magic on your Halloween haunts!

Healthy lifestyles don't just happen, the way dust balls do. It's up to you to carpe diem, to let go of old habits so you can dance with new ones—two steps forward, one step back—until the new ones become a juicy and joyful part of your life.

It all begins and ends with you, your readiness, your determination, your support system, your willingness to do something as silly sounding as keeping a journal.

Amelia Warner had no idea she was manifesting her dream home into
her life each day when she went to work in Raleigh, North Carolina.

She and her husband, Michael Warner, knew they wanted to be in the Lowcountry with access to the river but finding that perfect location seemed to elude them. When they bought a lot in Palmetto Bluff with hopes to build one day, Amelia walked to the bank of the May River and snapped a photo with her phone. The view spoke to her soul so much she had the photo blown up and hung it on the wall across from her desk in her office back in Raleigh. (See photo below.)

Hilton Head Island has received spectacular media coverage through the years helping to draw people to its picture-perfect location and earn a spot as a top vacation destination and residential community year after year. The media has been a powerful tool in giving consumers a taste of what makes this area so special, and the woman behind that great media coverage for the past 21 years is Charlie Clark.

A Boykin Spaniel named Hatch stole Gina Altman’s heart in 2006.

Gina and her husband, Keith, first had two golden retrievers and later took a break without a family dog for several years. In 2006, they attended the Southeastern Wildlife Exposition in Charleston and were immediately attracted to the Boykin Spaniel. The couple wanted a puppy in time for Christmas for their young children, Garrett and Miley. After searching for a breeder, they tracked down an upstate pup that would be available just in time for Christmas. “My sister lived near the breeder, and she went to check out the puppies for us. We ended up with the best dog,” said Gina. “Hatch was both an awesome family pet and a fantastic hunter.” Garrett trained Hatch in the family’s yard, and Hatch was happiest spending time in the field with Keith and Garrett.

When we humans imagine ourselves “exercising,” we tend to focus on playing sports, working out on machines, going for a 30-minute walk. Yes! All great ways to boost your energy and give your body the juiciness and joy it deserves.

But don’t limit your exercise routine to these big-picture pursuits. There is the outer game—played out on tennis courts and treadmills—but there’s an inner game, too, going on inside every nerve, cell, muscle, and bone of your body. And if you’re not playing in that arena of body awareness, you’re missing out on a wonderful, almost magical, opportunity to improve your well-being.

Author Susan Beckham Zurenda taught English for 33 years to college and high school students. Her debut novel, Bells for Eli, received several awards, including first place for Best First Book—Fiction in the 2021 Independent Publisher Book Awards. A life-long South Carolinian, Susan lives in Spartanburg, and we are delighted to welcome her second full-length novel, The Girl From the Red Rose Motel, to our must-read bookshelf.

As such, we would like to share Tim Bazzett’s review from Amazon, noting Susan has no personal ties to him:

A lot has changed in local real estate over the decades both in terms of the housing market itself, as well as the real estate professionals helping homeowners navigate the sale and purchase of homes here in the Lowcountry.

This year, as Hilton Head Area REALTORS® (www.hhrealtor.com) celebrates its 50th year in the community, is a perfect time to look back at the growing role that women have had in the local real estate industry and how today they are not only thriving in an industry once dominated by men but have also become some of the true leaders in the market.

I offer up three ideas—three luscious summer fruits—to move you toward better health, greater happiness and an organic chicken in every pot.

Just to remind you, lifestyle change is a step-by-step kind of thing. No one can do it for you, not even your mother. Sometimes it’s two steps forward, one step back. And that’s OK, because every day you can begin again, eating smarter, moving instead of sitting, mindfully releasing the stress and heebie-jeebies that come from watching the news.

Inside every woman lives a child. A sensitive little girl who desires fairness, kindness, and respect. If she was fortunate, her parents prepared her to walk that fine line, that fragile path between being a gentle and accommodating female and a hard-hitting woman who can hold her own.

In relationships, marriage, or career, at some point. every woman’s inner voice has cried. No matter her age, her inner child has silently screamed at injustice, arrogance, and rudeness of the few who would deny her the respect she so rightly deserves. Hearts have been broken, promotions denied, and relationships destroyed as a woman's inner child fights to survive.

All around the country, newly minted high school graduates will be heading off to college this month. They'll be taking a lot of things with them, but statistics tell us that financial literacy is not likely to be one of them. If I could spend a little time with these awesome students, I'd attempt to cram the basics of money management into their heads and then pray that they penetrate their hearts.

A budget is your friend. That means ...
1. You have a written plan for how you are going to spend and manage money.
2. You use that written plan like you would a road map, consulting it often.
3. You use a site like Mint.com or a pencil and paper to record how you spend every nickel.
Sallie Mae has a monthly budget worksheet you can print out to help you estimate your costs and keep expenses under control.

Truth or Myth?
Meal prep doesn't have to be stressful or time consuming.

Truth! When approached correctly,
with simple methods and planning, meal prepping reduces stress and saves time and money.

As a weight loss and lifestyle coach, I help busy men and women find that elusive balance in their life so they can reach their goals in a way that is not only sustainable but also actually fits their schedule, preferences, and lifestyle. As a full-time mommy, wife, dental hygienist, and entrepreneur, I'm never really off the clock. Something always needs to be done, and I'm often working from sunrise to sunset. Sound familiar? I couldn't get half the things on my to-do list accomplished without proper sleep, nutritionally dense meals and a little bit of movement each day. As a fellow busy woman, you can probably relate to the rat race and recognize that a healthy lifestyle plays a huge part in your success.

“I strongly believe in doing a better job of caring for those who have served our country,” said Lisa Beddie, a Navy veteran and Hilton Head Island resident. “I feel a connection with people in the military.”

Lisa has a new mission: To support both veterans and active duty military by helping to prevent soldier suicides. Lisa spoke to a Navy friend in California who inspired her to become involved. He told her he completed a ruck march last year to raise money and awareness through StopSoldierSuicide.org, and suggested she accept the challenge this year. Lisa checked out the Website; she was instantly committed and began training for her ruck march. Rucking is the basis of military training, and rucksacks are weighted packs filled with food, water, and any necessary gear. Ruck marches are a test of physical ability and mental stability. 

Let's pretend we're sitting down, face to face, and after some easy chitchat, I put on my reporter's hat and ask you this one dizzying question: What is the single most crucial factor when it comes to living a happy, healthy life?

Take a breath. Reflect. Have a glass of something.

The número uno most important factor.

Exercising daily? Very good guess. Eating well? Nice try.

But it's not the answer that can change your life in unexpected and remarkable ways.

"The most important factor in a happy and healthy life is a positive sense of connection with others," writes best-selling author Michael Gelb in his smart and entertaining book, "The Art of Connection."

It’s obvious we are all ocean people. After all, we live and/or vacation here in the Lowcountry, where salt runs through our veins. However, even ocean people want to escape occasionally, craving a change of scenery.

What if I told you in less than five hours you could feel as though you’ve been transported into the majesty of Europe surrounded by opulence and beauty so great it takes your breath away? I took a trip to Biltmore Estate in Asheville, NC, last month and that is exactly how I felt. It was exactly what this ocean girl needed—the powerful beauty of the mountains, the nostalgia of days gone by, the formality of excellence, and the fairytale of a faraway land yet I barely crossed over the South Carolina border.