When Life Gives You Lemons, Have a Hissy Fit

I don't have anything against lemons. They are a brilliant shade of yellow, one of my favorite colors, and they are simply beautiful to look at and use in decoration. I love the way they smell so fresh and clean, and they taste deliciously yummy in chicken picatta, lemon meringue pie, old-fashion lemon squares and my mother's favorite, lemon-apricot cake. What I don't like is a slice of lemon in my water.

I know it adds vitamin C and some even say that it may aid in digestion, but I don't like the way it makes my water taste. Being from the deep South, I have a firm belief that when lemons are added to water, they need to be accompanied by sugar. Yes, I know that isn't very classy, but then again, you never had a chance to attend one of my front-porch lemonade parties when I lived in the 1800s-built Victorian. They were divine on that old wrap-around front porch in Darlington, SC where ice-cold lemonade, friendly neighbors and full-bloom flower boxes were abundant.

If I wanted lemon water, I would order lemonade. I am a water drinker. I have not had a soda in more than 20 years, and have all but given up iced-tea because I don't need the sugar and I have a low-grade fear of artificial sweeteners. I am one of those people who can tell the difference in bottled water and have certain brands I refuse to drink. If it sounds as if I am a water snob; I'm not, I actually just usually order tap water. But haven't we all gone a little far with the whole bottled water, still water, sparkling water, lemon, no-lemon thing?

Back when I didn't mind paying five dollars for an oversized bottle of Panna or Voss or Evian, I would order still (water).  If you notice, no one ever offers you a slice a lemon to muck up your fancy water. But, undoubtedly, a lemon slice shows up on the rim of my water glass at every restaurant these days. Lemons were never put on the iced water glass when I was a kid. My theory is that some very nice restaurant, probably in California, started the trend, and then everyone jumped on the lemon bandwagon. Lucky for the citrus growers in California and Arizona, the lemon industry is booming. Americans consumed close to 100-million tons of lemons last year.

Here's what really gets me though, restaurants also put lemon slices on the children's water glasses. They don't like it either, and immediately take the lemon off of their glass and put it on mine, causing me to take all three slices and drop them in my husband's iced-tea. He doesn't really want four lemons in what used to be his iced-tea, but is now an Arnold Palmer. However, he takes it in stride.

Here's another kicker. The bottled-water wave has made people afraid to drink their tap water. According to the National Resources Defense Council, "There is no assurance that just because water comes out of a bottle it is any cleaner or safer than water from the tap. And in fact, an estimated 25 percent or more of bottled water is really just tap water in a bottle - sometimes further treated, sometimes not." Amazing. So let's recap this: we buy bottled water that has more than a 25 percent chance of being identical or worse to the water coming from our taps that we also pay for. That's ingenious - for bottled water companies. No wonder that section in the grocery store is growing ever large. There's money in placebo water!

I know it all sounds very trite, but I worry about the waste. Granted, the lemons are all-natural and will decompose without harming the earth - I think. But lemons are not cheap. Think about the expense the restaurant has in giving everyone a lemon slice with a free glass of water. Somebody's paying for those lemons - and speaking of paying - think of the high price our earth is paying for all the plastic used to bottled water. In 2005, two million tons of plastic water bottles ended up clogging landfills instead of getting recycled. In fact, most bottled waters comes in recyclable PET plastic bottles, but only about 13 percent of the bottles we use get recycled.

Earth Day is April 22nd. I'm not asking you to stop drinking bottled water. In fact, I can promise you will see me drinking bottled water in the future, but let's all get mindful of the impact, the cost, and the waste. Every little bit makes a tremendous difference.

By the way, here is my mom's recipe for Lemon-Apricot Cake. A very delicious use of lemons!

Mary's Lemon Apricot Cake

1 Box Lemon Supreme Cake Mix
4 eggs
Ω c sugar
2/3 c vegetable oil
1 c apricot nectar
1 c powdered sugar
juice of 2 lemons

Mix first five ingredients together and bake in a greased and floured bundt pan for one hour at 350∞. Mix sugar and lemon juice together and pour over cake while hot.

Source: NDRC.org