What Will Be Will Be
I just got back from a lovely party, in London. My best friend Debbie and her husband Peter celebrated their 20th wedding anniversary. Debbie and I were next door neighbors in London, "holidayed" together, our girls grew up together (and are still BFF's, like their Moms), chardonnayed together, scrabbled together, love each and have been there for each other.even three thousand miles away.
So when Deb and Peter hit their milestone and decided to celebrate, I really couldn't say "no" and stay here in sunny ole Hilton Head, I had to brave the summer and go to London.
Of course Mr. Crown and Ginger and I had a conversation.it went like this.
"Deb and Peter are celebrating their 20th Anniversary and have invited us to come to their party."
"Really, that's nice, where is it?"
"In London, actually in Wimbledon, that nice restaurant in the village, The Lighthouse.remember?"
"I think so, by their house right?"
"That's the one!"
"Well, that'll be nice, you'll have a good time."
"What? What? Me have a good time? They invited US.couples, anniversary.you know it's a BIG DEAL going on here.WE are a couple, WE are supposed to do this stuff together."
"Well, I can't go. You'll have a better time without me anyway."
I didn't bother carrying on that conversation any longer. It's not that I would have a BETTER time without him, just a DIFFERENT time.
During the weeks before me actually setting foot on the plane to go, I did touch on the subject again with Mr. C&G. "It's not too late to change your mind, if you want to come." But still, he was staying with his feet firmly planted on the terra firma of the USA. Maybe it had to do with his trip over last year when his flight got so screwed up, he ended getting to Gatwick Airport two days late via Toronto. And to add insult to injury, there wasn't a bottle of Crown Royal to be found in the UK. It was blended for the first royal tour by George VI and Queen Elizabeth in 1939 through Canada. I explained that maybe it had something to do with it being a blended Canadian whiskey and well, we were in the UK and there was an abundance of perfectly good Scotch whisky being produced just a couple of hundred miles to the north..in Scotland.
Getting back to the should he or shouldn't he come? Part of him was right, I couldn't deny it; I would have a different time without him. I would be fancy free to see all my girlie girls and lunch on the Kings Road (which I did), shop in Knightsbridge (which I did), play tennis at my old club (which I did), play Scrabble with Debbie and have a French burgundy wine tasting every night (which we did). It's not that I would have had an awful time with him there, but I know he would not have enjoyed the list above and nor would I if he was there. I didn't dwell on that too long though. I kissed the kids good bye, hid the keys to my car, hoped for an upgrade and took off, all by my self!
On the night of the party Deb organized a cocktail party in their garden. It was a lovely English summer evening, not a rain drop in sight, just copius bottles of champagne being poured by a very dishy butler. There were just forty of us and we all knew each other, having met during the years of our friendship with Debbie and Peter.
Peter made a speech about how this wonderful woman he married was his best friend too, and COULD not, WOULD not survive without her. Then Chess (their daughter) stepped up and the camera flashes started. It looked like they were being snapped at by a bunch of paparazzi, the garden was a blaze with lights. What a lovely moment, what a lovely picture. I felt so happy for them, twenty years.
Then of course, I started thinking - again, seems to be a yearly thing, last year it was when I went to my friend Susan's daughter 's wedding and reflected on whether I could do it, get married. This wasn't dissimilar.I just thought, how sometimes I can't get through twenty minutes with someone let alone twenty years. Many of the couples at the party had been together for as long as I had known them and that was a good ten years. And of course, everyone asked me where Mr. C&G was, I laughed it off. "Oh, well, I am having such a good time here without him..you know me.doesn't matter, I'm used to going places on my own." Which was true, but down deep I missed him being by my side. We're supposed to be a couple, and I wished he'd come with me. But after georgeous Phil, filled my champagne flute again, I came to my senses and thought.your loss mate; it was a wonderful evening of friends coming together to celebrate.
Debbie looked radiant. I was so happy to be there, so happy for her and Peter for having weathered more than a few storms which, I guess, marriages do. And a bit sorry for myself, this will probably never be a feeling I experience.but who knows, maybe someday I could get ten years in? In the mean time though, Phil, just keep topping this baby up.she's back in London and loving it!
Note to self: don't wish for something you can't have.make what you have better.