OMG Moments - April 2018

Golf Goofs


"My very best round of golf was played in Freeport, Grand Bahama in brand new red shorts. We had a tropical downpour on the 17th hole. My white socks and shoes were pink by the 18th hole!"

"I won $100 from my husband when he said there was NO WAY I was going to hit my shot over a large body of water!"

"I made a hole-in-one and everyone was bowing down below and clapping. I was so busy talking up on top of the tee box, I never even realized it!"

"My friend Marge teed off on No. 3, hitting a board out front. The ball came screaming back at us, over
our heads. We ducked and luckily no one got hurt. She did this more than once!"

"I swung my club and lost the head of my driver and it almost hit my customer/guest in the head!"

"I was playing in a foursome with my husband. I walked up to the red tees as he teed up his ball (about a 50 degree angle from his tee) He hit his shot, shanked it, and hit a line drive into my neck. It knocked me down and almost knocked me out!"

"I hit a ball to the right of the green and across the cart path. Then I chipped and it went over the path, onto the green and unbelievably into the hole!"

"I was teeing off as my skirt fell down around my ankles. Thankfully I had my cute panties on."
"I watched my partner’s ball hit a tree, which sent the ball backwards. She did it twice in a row. No idea how to score that one!"

"We were playing our second shot when we spied a bull dog waiting on the green. When my partner hit her ball, the dog got up, picked the ball up and started walking off. Then I hit my ball. The bulldog dropped her ball, picked up mine and took it home with him!"

"Never having driven a golf cart before, I offered to drive my two girlfriends. The husbands were way up ahead. Soon, I found myself stuck in a mud field—no getting out. Laughing hysterically, pushing and shoving the cart, over the hill comes the husbands to our rescue. Then when they left us, I did it again. Ha-ha! No more for me."

" After two years of learning this stupid game, I decide I’m ready for a good round. First tee: I wind up and swing for the sky, rotating my number 4 vertebrae 40 degrees and having two months of therapy before I can pick up a club again!"

"I had a HOLE-IN-ONE by ricocheting the ball off a tree and then into the hole!"

" After Hurricane Irma cleanup, I hit a ball to the left, which hit a tree limb. The limb came crashing down and my ball bounced to the center of the fairway!"

"When I first took up the game of golf I thought the club with the “P” was my putter! (It’s the pitching wedge.)"

"I hit a drive, which rolled close to the water. I hollered up to Leslie, “Look, I found it!” In my back swing, she hollered, “Look behind you!” I turned and was face-to- face with a wide open-mouthed mama gator."

"After a group of men allowed my mother-in-law and I to play through, I got up and hit an impressive golf shot. As I proudly walked to the green, I realized I had hit one of the men’s balls—so embarrassing!"

"I was waiting in the cul-de-sac for my friend and daughter to catch up. I had told my friend not to let my daughter drive, as she was only 8 years old. As they approached the cul-de-sac, I noticed my daughter driving, and the cart was not slowing down. They came screaming around, got up on two wheels, headed for the embankment, and splashed into the lagoon at full speed. My husband jumped in the alligator-infested water to rescue our daughter, who was going down with the cart. Then he saved what he could of our friend’s clubs, but the cart sank completely. It was a long walk back to the clubhouse."

"As a volunteer tournament marshal, we had to wear our khaki pants or shorts with a tournament shirt. After a long day, I went home and took off my “uniform” and took a shower. Next morning I put on my shirt and khaki shorts from the day before because I only had one pair of khaki shorts. I had on clean underwear, though. I got to the tournament and was standing at the cross walk near No. 9 green and felt something on my leg. My underpants from the day before, still in my khaki shorts, fell onto the cart path! I prayed TV cameras were not on the 9-hole marshal as I quickly reclaimed them for my pocket."

Poll: What is your favorite
way to spend a spring day?
59% On the Beach    20% Gardening
14% Boating               7% Spring Cleaning

Up Next Month: Pet Pandemonium
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