January 2019 Issue
by The Pink Staff
On behalf of the New Year, Pink Magazine welcomes you to 2019! We are incredibly excited to see how the coming year will unfold for us and what new stories it will bring! We’re not making resolutions at Pink this year; we want to start 2019 on a positive note, and we hope you will choose to do so, too. To help spark your fire, we thought we’d have our staff share with you their “IT” for 2019 and what they most want to get started in the New Year. We believe every woman is strong, beautiful, and has the power to identify her IT and get started, too. We're here to help. Pink would be honored to be a part of your tribe, standing in your corner, encouraging you to strap your goals and dreams for 2019 into the passenger seat and drive into the future! A true dream team! We hold our mission high and stay true to it. Together, we can change the world! Let's get IT started by together changing ourselves.
Millennial Flower Power
Jacie Millen – Writer & Distribution Diva
I have my eyes set on a good 2019. I found one of my biggest issues throughout 2018 was that I found myself stuck in situations with friends and co-workers, and in places I wasn’t happy. What I want to get started on this year improving my environment. I believe having a well-rounded, safe, and moral environment is the key to happiness. It’s my moral compass when diving head first into any situation or relationship. What I think is necessary in one’s environment is a good mindset, good people, and good vibes.
Having a good mindset, a positive and upbeat outlook on life, is so crucial for the foundation of my environment, my soil. This is what gets me up in morning, it’s what throws me into drive – and it’s so hard to perform sometimes. In 2018 I spent too much time stuck in neutral. With no sense of direction, no place to go, what was the point of having a good mindset? I’m changing that this year by setting goals for myself instead of making resolutions. Goals are more powerful and more persuasive to my brain. For me, resolutions are band-aids and goals are healers.
The next part of my environment I want to change is my roots. These are the people who ground me and help shape who I am. I am a people person. I honestly could talk to a wall and make friends; I love people. I get this from my mamma, and she got it from her dad. I’ve learned, however, that less can sometimes be more. Last year it wasn’t a matter of “who” but “how many” people were in my world. I was not as careful as I should have been, and so some had to go. My goal for 2019 is to stay grounded with the good roots I have, and to be welcoming, but mindful to potential new ones.
The last thing I want to get started in my environment is good vibes. This might be my millennial mouth talking, but good vibes are like flowers. They keep me content in life. And they are simple to create: A clean room with the fresh smell of laundry detergent pressed into the sheets; walking into a favorite hole-in-the-wall Italian restaurant with an aroma that takes you back; the stocking you’ve had since you were three-years-old still waiting for Santa to fill at the age of 20.
I didn’t do enough to nurture my environment last year, and my heart was crying out for more! I want more for my heart in 2019. This year, I’m listening!
Retired, Reunited and It Feels So Good
Donne Paine – The Reel Corner Columnist
Once I retired something unexpected happened. I reunited with people and activities I had tabled for years. And it happened quite quickly. All of sudden there was no rush, no timelines, deadlines, no clock watching at lunch, no hesitation for invitations. There was time to clear out, clean up, de-clutter and not just talking about stuff. As I updated my address book letter writing came back into fashion which improved and exercised my handwriting, calls to old friends, became visits planned not just promised. Advice for those about to retire? Take a deep breath, look forward, smile more, and have fun. Beware! Suggestions will come from every direction, including your children. You will be bombarded with financial advice seminar invitations, discount ads on hearing aids, calls offering advice on choosing a nursing home that is safe and secure, even robo calls warning you that odds are you will have a fall soon and must consider wearing an alarm device. Don’t answer! Instead take a Zumba class, learn to play pickle ball, visit an old friend, give your hand to volunteering, be open for adventure or learn a few phrases in Chinese (which comes in handy when you get unwanted solicitations).
As for me, each day I wake with a prayer of thankfulness. I try to keep focused on all the stuff you are reminded of like keeping my mind and body healthy by exercising, stretching and walking. Following a low carb diet and making lists each day to keep organized. And what’s on my get started list for 2019? I love to travel. Google alerts me with special rates on flights to Pennsylvania (where three of my siblings live), Vermont (where my love lives), and Italy (where I try to go when ever I have the funds). Also on my list: learning to speak fluent Italian, taking a photography class, and beginning that “how to” book I’ve wanted to write. Lastly, I want to remember to enjoy every moment!
My Not So Perfect Life
Tricia Mikouchi – Distribution Diva
I believe the two most precious gifts we ever received were given us the moment we took our first breaths. They were, of course, the gifts of the time and energy with which to create our own unique, wonderful, fulfilling lives.
As the years passed, like so many other women, I tended to forget that both gifts are of limited duration and got lost in this crazy world we call life. For days, weeks and years I supported others, read books and attended seminars, all in the hope that someday I would be good enough, clever enough and perfect enough to create my own perfect signature life.
After all, haven’t we been encouraged to think if we were good enough we could do it all and have it all?
Yet, all that time, the clock was ticking. Tick tock, tick tock, time was moving on. Well enough is enough. Time’s up. I know I will never be perfect and that’s okay! My past mistakes are just life tuition paid. This year, I’m going to finish writing my book, pull a few dreams out of my bucket list, and have more fun. I don’t expect I’ll do any of it perfectly, and I’m pretty sure there is more tuition to be paid in 2019. But if I have learned anything, it’s that imperfection is a small price to pay for the opportunity to create my own, imperfect signature life.
It’s About Time
Elizabeth Millen – Founder, Owner & Publisher
When we, as a staff, decided to figure out what our ITs are, I immediately said, “Mine is weight!” It is the IT I have dealt with since the fourth grade. 2019 is no different—another New Year, same story—lose weight, a tortuous mantra that plays in my head everyday like a broken record. However, in putting my thoughts on paper, I don’t think my IT is singular. I think the weight issue is tied to a time-management issue. Now, to be clear, in the fourth grade, the weight issue was not a time-management problem. It was a classic childhood case of packing on the pounds as layers of protection in a very volatile household. As such, I developed some deep-seeded thought patterns about food, which helped me mentally survive at the time. Some of those may still exist, however, if I’m being real with myself, I think I have overcome most of the mental anguish, and am now left with remnants of autopilot emotional eating and intrinsic bad habits.
On any given day you can find me with a head full of self-talk, bombarding my mind to eat less, count carbs, limit the food in the house, etc. And, on those same days, you will see me eating whatever and preparing concoctions in my kitchen no one knew were possible to make out of so little food. This is where time-management comes in; I’m never prepared. I don’t give myself time to manage my weight. Many days, I skip breakfast and don’t eat lunch until 3 or 4 o’clock, at which point I grab whatever is available, which is usually not a salad or grilled chicken. I starve during the day because I am busy being bossed around by the day, and then when I finally get home, I put together something—anything— like frozen smoked sausage, walnuts, peanut butter, cheese, an English muffin, a few pickles and a couple of olives—not all at once. I mean I’m no Dagwood, but I do have to wonder who am I, and what have I done with real dinner?
Ultimately, my IT is time-management because it is essentially at the top of the “food” chain—no pun intended. The lack of honoring my time is wreaking havoc on me daily. Not only do I regret what I eat, but I also tend to long for do-overs almost every day, wishing I could go back to 7:00 a.m. and do it differently. My plan is to have time blocks set aside for specific tasks and to protect them, which is the key to success. Another thing I will incorporate is mindfulness. Being mindful of what is—and what isn’t—contributing to how I want to live and what I need to accomplish. What exactly am I doing to where I wish for daily do-overs? There are no resolutions that go with this shift. It is simply that—a shift, made up of mindful tweaks, to merge into my best self. My IT may take all the days of the rest of my life to fully conquer, but in the mean time, I insist my self-talk acknowledge each and every baby step I make, and that’s good enough for me.
Learning to Say Yes to Me
Lindsay Gifford – Art Director
Two of the phrases I hear most often are: “I know you’re sooo busy” and “I don’t know how you do it”. I’ve never really thought much of it before, but as the New Year looms, I’ve decided that learning to say yes to me is exactly what I need to get started on. It’s time for ME. It’s time to say no to a few things in order to better take care of myself. This may take some time and reflection.
Alright, back to those pesky phrases. What do they say about me? I’m efficient; hardworking, a go-getter, and I have a lot of irons in the fire. While all of these things are positive personality traits, they come with some not so great attributes. I have trouble delegating, I don’t give others a chance to learn, and I’m an enable—just to name a few. And there are a lot of things that tend to go by the wayside when I’m too busy: good eating habits, my looks, my inner balance, FUN, friendships, dreams, my home and so much more. Now, what should I do about it?
Learn: This will be something new for me, so I need to learn from the experts. To that end, I found two books to take up more of my precious time: “The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands” by Lysa TerKeurst and “How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty: And Say Yes to More Time, and What Matters Most to You” by Patti Breitman. Don’t worry: I know reading these books will be worth the time!
Baby Steps: Instead of quitting all of my projects immediately, I will talk to the people around me and see how they can help ease my busy load. What can they do to help me?
Weigh My Options: For instance, when I look at my not so clean house I think about the hours it will take to tackle it. And, due to my personality, I can’t just straighten and clean. I wind up going through things and organizing, which often leads to more mess! So how much money could I make freelancing for the same amount of time? Is it worth just hiring someone to come in and deep clean once a month? Maybe so!
Perspective: This isn’t going to change overnight. I’ve been this way since I began college 15 years ago. It’s my personality, and most of the time I love it. In fact, next year I may be writing about this very same thing! But just a small step in the right direction may be just what I need to avoid a burnout.
Don’t Feel Guilty: For me, this is the most important. I am not the only person with my skill set. There are others with the time to give and the ability to learn. It’s time to write ME into my day planner!
A Better Version of Me
Suzanne Culp – Director of Sales
In 2019, I want to become a better version of myself. So what does that mean? Do I want to be kinder? More soft spoken? Thinner? In better shape? Do I want to do more for others? Volunteer?
What I really want to starting doing more of in the New Year is saying no. I am a mother, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a good friend, an acquaintance, a valuable employee, an encouraging manager … the list goes on and on … and most of the time I’m at the very bottom of it, and I’m tired of it. Frankly, I’m exhausted. No wonder I don’t like the me that I see in the mirror most mornings. I wonder, could putting myself first on my own list possibly be the key to becoming a better version of me?
There’s only one way to find out. In 2019, I’m going to stop thoughtlessly saying Yes, and start thoughtfully saying No. I’m going to put ME first when it comes to making decisions about the relentless requests from others that come in on a day-to-day basis. Whether helping an employee meet a deadline, a friend in need, or traveling to see family even though the budget is tight, I will make thoughtful decisions BEFORE I respond, by putting each request to this five question test:
1) Will this benefit me?
2) Will this benefit my family?
3) Is this actually a valid request?
4) Do I actually have the time to commit to this request?
5) Do I want to help or am I just saying yes because I never say no?
Yes! I’m going to learn how to say No (sometimes) in 2019 on the behalf of my desire to become a better version of me. What a mindful change this will be!
Widening the Circle
Cindy Whitman – Editor
Sixteen years ago when my 15-year-old son—a Top 10 nationally-ranked junior tennis player—was offered a scholarship to a tennis academy on Hilton Head Island, I saw it as the perfect opportunity to circle my wobbly life wagons. After losing my father in a 1975 plane crash when I was 15, my brother died in a freak car accident in 1995 (and due mostly to my grief, my marriage had been pretty shaky ever since), and 9/11 was not yet a year old memory.
At 42, I was pretty much done, frankly, so when the academy recruiter called our home in Denver in June of 2002, I thought: Yes! An island off the coast of South Carolina! It’s the perfect escape. I tucked my son in at the academy and myself in a small condo nearby, and for the next 16 years I made a safe and quiet living teaching and tutoring high school English students, freelance copywriting for local ad agencies, writing for local magazines, and occasionally working on a novel. I made a few friends, and went out some at first, but for the most part I kept a pretty low profile.
My son played tennis for Clemson, which kept him nearby, but after graduation, he took off to chase his dream, my husband and I finally formally divorced, and suddenly I was very much alone. I stayed that way, tucked inside my safe little place by myself, doing my quiet work, until a year ago, when I realized I wasn’t getting any younger and decided it was time to come out of hiding and chase my own dream: Beach Shack Writers—a writers retreat, workshop, and editorial service on Hilton Head.
That dream launched in the fall of 2017, and its launch led to my introduction to Elizabeth Millen, writer, publisher and founder of Pink, and in June of 2018, I was asked to serve as editor at Pink. Last month, I represented the magazine at our TEDx Women’s sponsor table, shaking hands and chatting with more than a hundred women. Talk about coming full circle.
My God Calling daily devotional book (which once belonged to my father) refers to this as “widening the circle,” and that’s what I’m all about in the New Year.
Venturing back out into the world is not always easy or comfortable for me. At times, still, it’s excruciating. But I’m just getting started. My goal for 2019 is to continue to widen my circle in some way – socially, personally, or professionally – every single day, and to have fun doing so!
Coming Out of the Clutter Closet
Kim Wilkins – Distribution Diva
Organization: Ugh! It’s on my resolution list every New Year’s Eve, but the next morning. I look into my pantry or closet, heave a huge, exasperated sigh at the chaos looming in front of me, and quickly close the door! This year my lack of organizational motivation needs to be tackled once and for all!
Whether it’s a closet, a day timer, or finances, I know I need to learn to be intentional in getting my life organized. I tell myself it’s a simple process of compiling, reviewing, and letting go so that I can learn from the past but not hold onto that which is no longer serving me well. I know it’s possible because I’ve done it before. Okay, I’ve done it once.
After 16 years in the same house, my husband and I decided to transfer our lives down to Bluffton and downsize our lives. We did a lot of purging, had the obligatory garage sale, and donated a lot of items. I went in head first, taking small steps to achieve big results. I made a list for each room and broke that list down into smaller sub-categories of what needed to be accomplished in each space. I didn’t deviate from the list, even though some tasks were unpleasant and not what I wanted to be doing at the time. Staying focused and on task got the job done!
Now I just have to remember what I did and how good it felt to finally do it so I can do it a second time! My life is starting to get a little cluttered again, because and I don’t want a third time to have to be the charm, starting right here and now, the first month of the New Year, I plan to be intentional about bringing organization into all areas of my life, and learning how to make it stay!
The Funny Thing About Focus
Dawn Harris – Sales Representative
Funny thing about writing a piece on “getting it started” is that it’s been difficult for me to do just that. Even funnier is that, for me “getting it started” is almost never the problem. My problem most often is stopping.
I am a multi-tasker by nature. Rarely am I ever doing just one thing at a time, even if it appears that I am. I have described my thought process to friends in a way that likens my brain to a Smartphone: the icon of the app currently being used is open in the foreground BUT there are half a dozen or more apps running in the background of my mind at all times.
I often find myself lamenting a missed opportunity to fully engage in a situation because I am so distracted by what’s going on in the back of my mind: deadlines to meet, obligations to fulfill, thank you cards to write, bills to pay, groceries to buy, laundry to fold, clients to email, proposals to finish, and on, and on, and on. You get the idea. The result is, instead of being fully PRESENT in any given moment, I am mentally a million miles away ciphering deals, budgets, and planning the next hours and days’ activities.
So, the “IT” that I mean to get started on in the New Year is turning off all those background apps and truly focusing on the one that is running in the foreground. My goal for 2019 and beyond is to be present in the present. It has become abundantly clear to me—Thanks, Elizabeth Millen for the borrowed mantra—I only get one wild and precious and life and I’d better savor every drop of flavor out of every single moment of every single day … one at a time.
I have a five-year-old son who is growing faster than I ever dreamed possible. The greatest gift I can give to us both is to be fully engaged in the present. Fifteen or twenty years from now, I don’t want to regret not having been there both in body and mind, desperately praying too late for a do-over. I am getting started right now being fully engaged in the RIGHT NOW.
Now, it's Your Turn!
My IT is...