Hissy Fit - January 2020 - Avoid Failed New Year’s Resolutions

...because everyone needs one every once in awhile


January 2020 Issue
by Elizabeth Skenes Millen

If you know from the get-go you’re not going to stick to your New Year’s resolutions, you’re not weak. You’re simply making the wrong resolutions. Trust me, if something is of utmost importance to you, you will stick to it no matter what. I know cutting carbs is hard, and saving money is impossible when you barely can make ends meet. Finding a new career is intimidating, and the thought of going back to
school is horrifying. Finding new love is paralyzing and calling it quits turns you inside out.

Fact: Nothing worthwhile ever comes easy, but, if you want something bad enough, it is easily achievable.

Believe it or not, you CAN lose weight, you CAN save money, you CAN do all of the things people typically set out to do and fail. The only thing stopping you from slaying your resolutions is setting ones you aren’t deeply passionate about.  

If you want to rock your resolution, then it’s time to get real. Regardless of fear or means, what it is you truly want? How will change your life? What will you think of yourself if you NEVER do it? Envision achieving it. What does it look and feel like?

Now take a deep breath, and set a real resolution. Or, you can just join the mindless millions who are settling for these top resolutions in 2020:
1) Exercise more                          6) Save more money/spend less money
2) Lose weight                             7) Quit smoking
3) Get organized                          8) Spend more time with family and friends
4) Learn a new skill or hobby        9) Travel more
5) Live life to the fullest              10) Read more

Just reading this list inspires me to exercise less and gain weight, which technically could bolster No. 5—living life to the fullest. Wait. What does living life to the fullest mean again? If you take it literally, there are just a few parts of a human body that can be full—heart, belly, bladder and intestines. Given these choices, I’m thinking a full heart is the best bet, especially if you want to travel more. (Do you have that guy in your life who doesn’t believe in stopping while car traveling?) Perhaps the resolution shouldn’t be to travel more, but to travel less with people who make you hold your bodily functions. Makes you wonder which one is more of a pain in the ass.

If you want to save money, I would recommend not getting organized. Here’s my experience with organization: Step 1. State you are getting organized. Step 2. Spend a fortune buying all the cute boxes, totes, caddies, dividers, folders and labels because the way to organize stuff is to buy stuff to put stuff in. Step 3. Place new stuff near the area in need of organizing. Step 4. Wait a few months, or years. Step 5. Move it from time to time. Step 6. Consider donating the still-new organizational stuff.
So we’ve covered losing weight, finding exercise and the impact they have on living life to the fullest. We’ve also revealed the reasons to reject the resolutions of traveling more, getting organized and saving money. We are not even going to address reading more, because if you’re a natural reader, you’re reading enough. Believe me, everybody sees your light on at 4:00 in the morning, and knows you are feverishly finishing that new Nicholas Sparks’.

So, let’s talk about learning a new skill or hobby. First, if you are already pressed for time and feel like you have no control over your life, do not start something new. That’s called adding fuel to the fire. Copy that? One year, I decided to learn a new skill—speaking French. I dissed Rosetta and bought an off-brand CD set with convincing packaging for under $10. With high hopes, I listened to it in my car for what seemed like an eternity—at least 5 days. I still do not parlez-vous Francais, unless you consider this sentence a win!

About quitting smoking, just quit—no joke. There are only positives in quitting, except for your wracked nerves making you feel like wrenching up the Wal-mart manager and daring him not to open another checkout lane, even if he has to work the register himself. Don’t worry. Those urges will pass. Well, maybe not.

Lastly, do you really want to spend more time with family and friends, or are you just trying to assuage guilt? Perhaps a better resolution would be to spend less time with certain family members or friends because some of them actually cause emotional eating, smoking and spending money on therapy—lots and lots of therapy.

Here are my top suggestions for New Year’s resolutions this year:

1) Make your life less stressful—plot it out
2) Be grateful for everything—people. places. things.
3) Allow your children to fail—they will be OK
4) Accept yourself fully—especially the parts you hate
5) Find joy in something every day—this will lift you
6) Stop being a martyr—it’s way overrated
7) Embrace spirituality—seek and you shall find
8) Do one thing you’ve always wanted to do—you have all year
9) Stop judging—yourself and others
10) Ask more questions—there are no dumb questions
11) Lighten up—let that Shih Tzu go
12) Be kind—you can always be kind

Just pick one—any one—and begin. Life isn’t measured by gaining, losing, saving or spending. It’s more about seeking, finding, savoring and appreciating. “It’s life. You don’t figure it out. You just climb up on the beast and ride1.” Whee! Happy New Year.

1 Quote by Rebecca Wells, Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood